


28 Days with Him

by BeTheSammyToMyDean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Related, Angst, Emotional Hurt, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad, Summer, Summer Romance, Sweet, they are related anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 20:39:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 30,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeTheSammyToMyDean/pseuds/BeTheSammyToMyDean
Summary: Sam had never seen eyes this green, but he doubted he would ever see them again...





	1. Day One

_Four weeks. A whole month. Not much, if you ask me. But anything is cool when it keeps me away from school for a while. Dad's forcing me to go to uncle Bobby and stay there. Did I tell you about him? He is pretty ~~cool~~ nice, but he lives in this weird little town. Well, he doesn't actually live in it, more like outside of it. Very far outside of it. I guess he just doesn't like to be around people, I guess I got that from him. I'm on the bus right now, going to 'bumfuck-nowhere'. I don't get why dad still doesn't want me to stay home alone, I'm 19, for God's sake. I know how to take care of myself. I mean, sure, I can't cook. But, 28 days of pizza and burgers is okay, right? Just kidding, I will probably eat salad all the time. But with uncle Bobby, well, he always ~~makes~~ cooks homemade meals. They're pretty good, so I can't complain. And uncle Bobby usually just leaves me alone. Which means that I'm going to be in a small town with probably only old people, and I'm not going to have anything to do. Maybe bingo? Dad said to make friends, since I don't have many back home, but how am I going to make friends in such a small town? Besides, I'm going to leave again in four weeks anyways. Well, the bus is almost at my stop. Gotta go, I'll write soon._

_\- Sam_

Sam pulled the straps of his heavy backpack over his shoulders, looking around with a deep sigh. Great, this was literally the most empty town ever. It was two o'clock in the afternoon, and there was literally no one in sight. This was confusing to Sam, because there should be people around right? It wasn't like he lived in a huge city or anything, but it was at least bigger than this one. He really wasn't excited to stay here, he wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for his father forcing him to stay over at his uncle Bobby's house. It wasn't like Sam had planned anything else for the four weeks that he was off, but staying in his room every day with his laptop seemed better than staying here. God, Sam was sure that these weeks were going to be horrible.

Uncle Bobby's house was pretty much hidden away from town. It was nearly a twenty minute walk from the edge of the town to the scrapyard that was Bobby's property, but there was a bus stop right at the yard, which Sam was very happy about. He didn't feel like lugging around his damn suitcase and backpack for longer than five more minutes, he had already been struggling with everything in the damn bus and he still had to walk through the scrapyard before he could finally drop his things off at uncle Bobby's home. As Sam slowly walked through the yard, he realized that this was probably the messiest place he had ever seen in person. There was so much junk that Sam couldn't even make out what exactly he was seeing. Metal scraps, tires, old fridges, anything old and broken, but mostly cars. Sam guessed that all of the broken cars in and around town ended up here, for Bobby to do with them what he wanted. Sam wasn't really sure what his uncle was doing with them, if he was honest.

Sam crouched down, picking up a piece of metal and flipping it over. It was dirty, grimy, and Sam didn't really understand what use his uncle saw in this. As he looked around in his position, Sam's eyes fell on a black car nearby. It looked old, was definitely broken and battered, but it somehow looked like it was cared for. There was no layer of dust on it like there was on the other cars around Sam. Maybe uncle Bobby was working on repairing this one? If he was, Sam could suggest to help him with it. It wasn't like he knew much about cars but he would at least have something to do these twenty-eight days he was forced to stay there.

"Sam Wesson!" Sam immediately got up, smiling wide when he saw his uncle stand in the doorway of his house. That building had seen better days, much better days, just like his uncle had. Ever since his aunt passed away, neither the house or Bobby had been properly taken care of. The paint of the house was chipped, vines were growing all over, windows hadn't been cleaned in years- and don't even get him started on the inside. Bobby kind of looked like a trucker, with a cap and a big beard and a beer gut, but he was really nice and Sam did like him.

"Uncle Bobby!" Sam yelled back, making his uncle grin. He didn't dislike his uncle, never had. Actually, he really loved Bobby, even though the man wasn't really one for sharing feelings with anyone and would never accept Sam trying to talk about how much he liked Bobby being his uncle. The guy might be a man of few words, gruff, and like his alcohol a little too much, but he was wise and nice and left Sam alone most of the time. And, oh, he made an amazing stew, which Sam was going to beg him to make at least three times every single week. It was heavenly, honestly.

"Get over here, ya idjit!" Sam laughed at his uncle's catchphrase, immediately feeling like he was at home. Not that he really was at home, but he had always liked being at Bobby's place. Back when his aunt was still alive, he came over pretty much every holiday and vacation, spending free days and weeks at the big house with the huge yard. Uncle Bobby allowed him to do a lot which meant that he finally had freedom, and went out to play baseball and what not with Sam, while his aunt stayed behind to make the most delicious meals and pies. Oh, and Bobby used to have a dog: Hunter. It was one of those big ones, a huge black dog with a very loud bark but the sweetest love for anyone who was nice to him. Sam had some good memories of this place, uncle Bobby, his aunt, and the dog. 

Sam rushed over, being pulled into a tight hug by his uncle who smelled like smoke and whiskey like he always did. The younger hugged back just as tightly, feeling loved and wanted. He didn't always feel like that at home, which obviously wasn't very nice. It hurt, because his father often was not home and whenever he was, he ignored Sam a lot. Work was more important to the older Wesson, which gave Sam just a feeling of being unwanted and unloved. Those weren't very nice feelings, and this was a nice change. Uncle Bobby always made him feel like he was needed and appreciated.

"Long time no see, kid," Bobby said after pulling away, sending Sam that half grin that he was so familiar with. Sure, maybe this was just a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, but he was going to have fun. And hey, maybe he could start on those books of him. Uncle Bobby had a lot of books in his house, most of them about subjects that Sam was kind of interested in. Supernatural subjects, but none of that Twilight crap. "Let's get you inside, huh? You look tired, and I bet you're hungry."

"Did you make stew?"

"Did I make- of course I did, you fool," Bobby laughed, clapping his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Like I can make anythin' else." Sam laughed as well, walking into the house and dropping his backpack onto the surprisingly not so dusty floor. Huh, maybe Bobby had cleaned up because Sam was coming? That would actually be nice, Sam had totally not expected it, though. "Get your ass at the table, kid."

Sam moved to sit down at the table after taking off his coat, looking around. Not much had changed, only that it was much neater than it had been when Sam was here the last time. He didn't even know that his uncle could clean. It didn't take long before his uncle put two steaming bowls of delicious smelling stew down on the table, sitting down on the other chair that wasn't filled with books. Sam didn't even wait a second before grabbing his spoon and happily starting to eat. It was just too delicious, and he had been pretty damn hungry too. Yeah, he was going to have a pretty good time here...


	2. Day Two

_Am I supposed to start this with 'dear diary'? Isn't that what they do? I'm not that cliche, though. And I'm not a teenage girl, I'm pretty sure about that._

_Anyways, yesterday was pretty nice. Once I got to uncle Bobby's, we ate stew together and then I went to bed. I didn't even unpack, I was way too tired. I was actually planning on writing in this little book before bed yesterday night, but I guess I was just exhausted. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I passed out. It's nine a.m., and I can hear uncle Bobby making breakfast. It smells really good, like bacon or something._

_I'm not really planning on doing anything specific today. I'm probably going to look around the scrapyard, maybe ask uncle Bobby what's with that black car. There's this car next to the path that leads to the house, and it doesn't look as worn down as the rest of the cars. Well, it's worn down as hell and broken and bruised and battered and the windows are gone, but it looks kind of clean? I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe uncle Bobby is working on it or something? Not sure, I'll figure it out. Maybe I'll go into town, too. It's been a long time since I've been there._

_I'll let you know about my day later._

_\- Sam_

__

"Morning, uncle Bobby." Sam softly said, getting a grunt from the older man. Sam was used to this, his uncle never really had been a morning person, and it was best to just leave him alone until he'd had at least three cups of coffee, after that he could function like a normal human again. Or well, a semi-normal human. Sam didn't blame him, though. He himself was pretty good at all times of the day. He could stay up pretty late, but wake up early if he had to. Didn't mean that he liked waking up early, but he could if he needed to. Besides, if he wanted to do anything these four weeks, then he had to wake up at least a little early, right?

With another grunt, Bobby shoved a plate full of greasy breakfast food in Sam's direction before he got up and left. Sam let out a soft chuckle before he dug in, eating Bobby's artery clogging, dripping in grease, very filling breakfast food. He loved it, absolutely loved it. He was probably going to gain like, seventeen pounds while he was here, but it didn't matter. He was lanky anyways, with his long skinny limbs. Sam could do with some more weight on him. He didn't have anyone to stay the same for anyways. His father wouldn't care until he'd get huge, and he didn't have a lover. Sam shivered,  _lover._ That just sounded way too adult for him. 

Sam looked around the kitchen, pursing his lips. Hmm, maybe he could clean up a little bit around here? He could do the dishes, at least. Uncle Bobby didn't have a dishwasher, and it didn't look like he did the dishes daily either. So, at least Sam had something to do for now. Sam got up after finishing his breakfast, finding the dish-soap behind some stacked up dishes before he filled the sink with warm water, cleaning and drying the dishes before he put them away. He wasn't sure if uncle Bobby would even notice, but at least he himself felt better about staying here if he cleaned up a little bit. Sam never wanted to be useless and lazy.

Maybe uncle Bobby didn't even actually want to have him around. Sam wouldn't be surprised if that was the case, even if Bobby would try to smack that thought out of his head. He never really felt welcomed anywhere, which probably was because of his dad. His father never really gave him much attention, never made Sam feel like he belonged or like he was loved. It wasn't his dad's fault, though. Or at least Sam didn't feel like it was. It was just that his father always put his job above everything else, and definitely above Sam. Of course it didn't feel great to have something like a job be made more important than him as a son. Paperwork and meetings versus a human being that you helped create.

Sam sighed, looking around. Alright, he should do something. He had no idea where uncle Bobby went, so, he just left a little note on the table that told his uncle that he had gone out into town and would be back before dinner. And with that, the young male left into the most boring town into the whole wide world...

The town wasn't actually that bad. There was a library, and all the books seemed to be pretty old. If there was nothing else to do and Sam wanted to get out of the house, he could spend hours in there, right? At least he'd have something to do, and he did like reading. He could spend every single day in there. And he also found this cute little coffee shop, the kind that actually served coffee not drugs, which was great. Sam liked coffee, and the place had pretty good pastries. Sam also really liked pastries, like pretty much any human being. So, even if Sam didn't know anyone around town, he could still make his own fun.

It was nearing dinner time, and Sam knew that he had to get back. He had explored half of the town, leaving the other half for the other day, and he had seen exactly four other human beings until now. Which, no, that weren't many people at all. Not as many as Sam was used to. It was pretty nice, though, because Sam wasn't really into the whole busy city thing. At home he didn't have many friends either, and he usually just went out of everyone's way and didn't really talk to other people. He was just too shy, he guessed, And he didn't really think anyone cared enough to be interested in him. Besides, why would anyone want to be friends when they all thought he was just a spoiled, rich kid? That's what everyone assumed, because all they heard was his last name and they knew that his father was an important business man so... If anyone wanted to be friends with him, it usually was because they wanted his money.

Sam really hated people.

As Sam arrived back at the scrapyard and walked up the path leading to the house, he frowned a little when he heard uncle Bobby laughing. Of course, the guy was allowed to be happy, but Sam's mind immediately went to: who's making the guy laugh? Uncle Bobby had a weird sense of humor, and often didn't get Sam's jokes. Or maybe they just weren't that funny, but Sam would never say that to anyone. He was a funny guy, he really was. Sam slowly crept up to the place where he heard the laughing coming from, eyes widening when he saw some kid of around his own age stand next to his uncle. 

He had never seen this guy before, so Sam had no idea who he was. They were both standing next to that black car that seemed to be so different from the other cars. Maybe this guy was fixing it up with uncle Bobby? Sam stepped closer, hiding behind other cars. He had no idea why he was hiding, it just kind of felt like he had to. He didn't want this guy to see him, mostly because he was extremely hot, but also because it felt like a private meeting. And because Sam just wasn't a big fan of human interactions. Loner much? 

After only three seconds of stalking, Sam decided that this guy was attractive as hell. Bright green eyes like he'd never seen before, full lips, soft looking hair, nice looking body. Yeah, Sam could get behind that. He hadn't really defined his sexuality before, didn't think that it really mattered because why would anyone give a shit about who he liked or not? But he was definitely sure that he liked guys. Women? Meh. Men? Yeah. So, this guy was hot to Sam. Really hot. And he guessed the guy was hot to a lot of other people as well. This meant that Sam was gonna have to casually get his name from uncle Bobby, which was harder than you'd think. The old man wasn't stupid, not at all.

Sam slowly backed away after a few minutes, making sure no one could hear him. He then went to the house, walking inside and starting to chop up some vegetables that Bobby had put out for dinner. Well, green eyes was definitely not going to leave his mind for the rest of the day. And who knows? Maybe he'd even change his mind about not making friends, because this guy? Let's just say that he seemed really, really,  _really_ interesting to Sam...


	3. Day Three

_Dear diary,_

_I guess I have decided to start calling you this now. I know it's cliche, but it's not like you'll ever know because you're just an object. Unless you're not an object and Toy Story is real, then I'm sorry for saying (writing?) that you are. I didn't mean to offend you. Anyways, I'm still at uncle Bobby's, obviously. I'm not allowed to leave yet, dad won't like it if I show up home before the 28 days are over. It's not like I want to leave though, it's already much nicer here than it is at home. Dad isn't here, that's what makes it so much better._

_I don't think dad ever means bad. I mean, he's never really actually hurt me. Never. Not physically at least. He's never hit me or beat me up or done anything close to that. Mentally he has definitely caused me pain, but don't all parents do that? Isn't that just what parents do? Or is it just my dad? I don't think he means to hurt me. If he does, well, he's a shitty dad._

 

_It really is nice here. The weather is nice, uncle Bobby is nice, and I met this guy with these really pretty eyes who also seemed nice. Well, I didn't exactly meet him. You actually have to talk to someone to meet them. I just kind of watched as he and Bobby talked with each other about whatever they were talking about. I don't know, I felt like I couldn't talk to him. Like I wasn't good enough for him. He's way above my... What do you call that? He's like a fifteen on the hotness scale and I'm a solid two. How could I ever talk to him? I've never seen anyone that gorgeous. He has these big green eyes, and these full lips and this soft looking hair, and he was tall and muscled. I think he's working on that black car with uncle Bobby. I wanted to ask him about it at dinner yesterday, but Bobby was in a rush because he needed to get some work (?) done._

_Anyways, I think I'm going to explore the other half of the town and have some fun with that. Maybe I'll get some books from the library or I'll get some of uncle Bobby's books, I'm not sure yet. ~~Maybe I'll even find the green eyed guy again? I sure hope so.~~_

_\- Sam_

_(?) I realized that I have no idea what the hell uncle Bobby's job is. I've never really seen him work or asked about it, I should do that one day. Maybe I just assumed he worked at the scrapyard. I'll make sure to ask him soon._

 

__

After shoveling another one of uncle Bobby's very famous, very greasy, and very filling breakfasts into his mouth, Sam pulled on his coat and started the walk into town. He hadn't really been able to stop thinking about the green eyed guy, which kind of made him feel stupid. He didn't even know who the hell the guy was, and yet he already had feelings for him? Well, maybe they weren't really feelings, but he definitely was at least attracted to him. How could he not be? That guy was like an angel. Damn sexy, damn hot, damn attractive. If Sam was hotter himself and not so self conscious and not so awkward around other human beings, he would have totally stepped up and not pissed his pants in fear and actually talked to the guy.

Sam wondered what his name would be. Probably something sexy, like Flavio. Wait, no, that wasn't an American name and this guy was definitely an all American boy. And now that Sam was thinking even more about it, he didn't think it was a very sexy name anymore. But it wasn't like he cared, right? Nah, Sam did not - _could not-_ care about this guy he had just met. And he hadn't even met him yet. There was so much wrong with him, wasn't there? He definitely felt more than a little pathetic.

It took him a while to explore the rest of town, but it wasn't very impressive. More houses, all of them old and small and town-like, if you know what I mean. Sam liked them, though, they had this nice vibe about them. Most of them were made out of wood, and the gardens were full of nice flowers and trees and what not. He could see himself living here, or well, he could if it wasn't so very isolated. Even if he didn't like human contact all that much, he still needed some of it to stay sane. Many serial killers turned bad because they were deprived of human contact, and Sam wasn't really looking forward to going dark-side. 

After visiting the town's library and getting a book that seemed very interesting to him, something about the supernatural, he went to the coffee shop to get himself something to drink. He really enjoyed that hazelnut blend that they had, and it was much cheaper than the Starbucks that Sam always went to when he was home. Everything was going pretty well that day, and Sam decided to just spend the rest of it in uncle Bobby's garden, reading his book and snacking on cookies or candy, whichever Bobby had in his house.

But then, because the universe and God hated Sam, he bumped into someone, spilling his damn amazing hazelnut coffee all over the floor and his shoes. Dad was definitely going to murder him for being clumsy again and ruining another pair of new vans that  _'were so expensive, Sam, don't ruin them again'._ Great, just great. This was supposed to be a normal and calm day with no ruining of clothes.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry," A voice breathed out and oh, it was a human being and not a brick wall? It sure felt like one. Sam looked up from his now no longer white shoes, staring straight into those green eyes he had seen before. Oh. That was why it felt like a brick wall, green eyes was really, really,  _really_ muscled. He must spend literally ever second of his free time at the gym, huh? "Are you okay?"

 _Speak, Sam, speak._ "Uh," Sam blinked at his own stupid voice, not really knowing when he lost the ability to form words or sentences. This was just the best first impression, wasn't it? First he was stalking this guy, and now he couldn't even say anything? He had to get himself together. "Yeah, uh, I'm fine. Don't worry."

"I'm sorry about your shoes," The guy softly said, voice sincere, like he actually was sorry. He looked sorry too, guilty even. God, that was just too hot and cute. Was he trying to kill Sam? "And about your coffee. I really hoped I didn't hurt you... Can I buy you a new coffee?" Okay, so yeah, he  _was_ indeed trying to kill Sam. He didn't really mind, though. If having coffee with the hottest guy on earth was the last thing he would ever do, then he would gladly die after this. He would die happy.

"Sure," Sam was pretty proud of himself. He said that word without any stuttering or any cracks in his voice, which meant that he didn't sound like a freaking teenage boy. That was great, because sounding like that was definitely not attractive. "I'd like that." Dean grinned, ordering them both a cup of hazelnut coffee and a slice of the delicious looking pie. Oh, okay, so they were definitely going to sit down and eat it together. Which was great, it was super great. Super amazing. Oh God Sam was so happy about this.

Sam followed Dean to a free table in the back, sitting down on a chair and sipping at his coffee. His shoes were wet with the coffee, still, but it didn't bother him so much. Those green eyes were distracting him enough for him to not care about anything but the guy in front of him. "So, Sam, right?"

"How do you know?"

"Well, Bobby Singer mentioned somethin' about his nephew Sam being with him for a month or so," The guy said, blowing a little on his coffee which made those lips only seem plumper. Hello, wasn't that supposed to be impossible? His lips were already amazing, and Sam was yearning to kiss them. Or touch them with his fingers, or stare at them for hours, he wasn't very picky. "There aren't very many new faces around here, and with what he told me about you, I just assumed you'd be the guy."

"You're right," Sam softly said, nodding his head as he watched Dean take a bite of his pie, sucking around his fork like he was making porn. This really was unfair, wasn't it? How could someone look so hot while eating something? "How do you know my uncle?"

"I work at his scrapyard sometimes. My dad had this completely busted 1967 Chevy Impala, and I decided I could fix it up. So, I asked your uncle for some parts but then he told me I could work there on fixing it," Dean said, shrugging his shoulders. Sam listened, eating his own slice of pie slowly. It was delicious, both Dean's voice and the pie. "Your uncle is a really awesome guy. My name is Dean, by the way."

"Yeah, yeah he is. It's nice to meet you, Dean, thank you for the coffee. And the pie."

"Dude, I totally ruined your shoes, it's no big deal." Dean grinned, winking at Sam before going back to eating his pie. He eventually spotted the book Sam had gotten from the library, which luckily was untouched by the coffee, and they started talking about that. Okay, so maybe the universe and God didn't hate him. Sam didn't really care, his day was great after all...

_I just had to write in you again. I met green eyes today, and this time I actually really met him. I talked to him. Yes, me, Sam Wesson, talked to someone voluntarily. I wasn't at all forced to do it. His name is Dean, (obviously it's not actually green eyes), and he's even prettier from up close. He has freckles!!!!!! He looks like a damn angel. He got me coffee and pie, which was amazing by the way. Better than any pie I've ever eaten. He works in uncle Bobby's scrapyard on a '67 Chevrolet Impala, which is super cool. And then we talked about this book I got from the library, he likes supernatural stuff too! ~~Maybe we are meant for each other?~~ Anyways, I'm going to spend the rest of my day in total shock that he actually wanted to talk to me. And maybe one day I'll see him again? Let's hope for that. _

_\- Sam_

 

 


	4. Day Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but it's mostly just a filler, just so you know :)

_Dear diary,_

_Isn't life weird? I mean, it's really great, sure it is but... Life is insufferably long and extremely short at the same time. I know it's crazy to already be so happy around someone I literally met yesterday, but I am. Maybe the universe is trying to make up for making me suffer for years with having a stupid dad? Or for taking my mom from me? Maybe, I don't know, the universe works in strange ways._

_I don't really believe in God or anything holy. Sure, if he does exist, I'm sure my mom would be in Heaven and my dad, when he dies, will end up in Hell. He isn't a bad guy, but he makes me feel sad most of the time and he caused me to have terrible anxiety so he deserves to be in Hell. According to me, at least. I don't know what God or whoever is in charge thinks. I'm just ~~sauing~~ saying that if I was in charge, I'd kick him the fuck out of Heaven and stuff him into Hell. Why would I not?_

_Anyways, I'm pretty excited about staying here now. I already wrote about him, I know, but he keeps running around in my mind and make my tummy feel weird. God, why am I saying tummy? And why do I keep writing down God's name if I don't believe in him? Yeah, I don't know the answers to any of these questions, mostly because I'm always in a state of confusion and stupidity._

_I love his freckles. I saw that he had one on his lip, which is super cute, isn't it? I think it is. Of course, I have no fucking idea if he even is gay or bisexual or attracted to the same sex in any way. I know that I am, but who says he is? But maybe we can be friends at least? That would be nice, he seems like a really cool guy. And if uncle Bobby likes him, then he has to be a good guy too. Bobby has great judgement in people._

_So, it's raining right now. Which means that I am not going out into town. What I am going to do is read the book I got from the library yesterday. It's about supernatural creatures, which should be interesting. You already know I'm interested in stuff like that, right? So this could be fun to read. Hopefully it is. I can't wait to find out more stuff about creepy werewolves and vampires and stuff. Hopefully there will be creatures in there that I've never ever ever heard of. I'm really excited to learn more things, even if that makes me a total nerd. I like being a nerd._

_Have I ever been bullied for it? Yes, very many times. But do I care? Yes, I've cared very many times about this. It hurts a lot to be bullied, you know? It makes you feel worthless and shitty as fuck, and it's not nice to feel like that. Or for anyone to make you feel like that. I never get why people feel like they need to make you feel less about yourself. It sucks. Especially 'cause my dad is just like them._

_Whatever, I am not in the mood to get sad. Let's go read a book, huh? I'll tell you later how it was._

_\- Sam_

__

Sam was happy. There were amazing supernatural creatures in there, most of them which Sam had never heard of before. That's exactly what he had wanted. The library in this town seemed special, better than any of the huge stupidly modern libraries in the town Sam lived in. Sure, they had good books but Sam thought that libraries should be old with old books and old everything. So, he was happy this library didn't disappoint. 

It was still raining when he finished the first few chapters of his book, but Sam's eyes were hurting from the strain and he needed to put his contacts in. He really didn't want to get a headache. Headaches were no fun. Sam had migraine, and his headaches were pretty much killing him whenever he had them. He hated them. So, after putting in his contacts, he got himself a glass of water and swallowed a painkiller and decided to distract himself with the cleaning of uncle Bobby's house. He didn't have anything better to do anyways, so, he decided he would be nice and just clean up so he wouldn't be a useless bother anymore.

As he looked around, Sam realized that it was going to take a very long time. It was a huge mess, and Sam had no idea how his uncle could live in this, but he was going to clean it up as a thanks to his uncle for letting him stay here and getting him food and always being nice. It was amazing to stay here, and Bobby deserved to be thanked. He was going to stay inside all day long and clean, and probably think of Dean all the time...


	5. Day Five

_Hi, hello, good morning._

_Uncle Bobby is gonna let me work on a car today, or at least watch him work on a car because I'm not that great at anything that involves car stuff. (That's called mechanics, Samuel). I know what a steering wheel is. And obviously I know how to get inside of one, but I don't think I can actually fix one. I'm not actually really that interested in figuring out how cars work either but I don't mind helping uncle Bobby or watching him._

_He was very happy that I cleaned up, told me it had been time for him to do so a few months back but he just couldn't push himself to it. He promised me he'd keep it clean now it's clean, though. And I'm going to keep him to that, because I can't have my favorite human being live in the biggest mess ever._

_Uncle Bobby is calling for me, I'll be working outside all day so I have lathered up on sunscreen. I really don't want to get sunburn again. Everyone knows it happens easily to me, I'm very delicate. My skin is, at least. Inside, I'm a man. More on that later, uncle Bobby keeps screaming my name like he's about to be eaten by a raccoon. He might be, so I gotta go check it out._

_Talk later._

_\- Sam_

__

Sam rushed outside, all ready for it. He was wearing an old shirt and old pants, just so he could get dirty without his father ever getting mad at him about ruining another outfit. He wanted to learn about things, about cars, whatever. Sam really didn't know much about them, but he wanted to. Actually he wasn't sure if he wanted to know about cars, but at least he'd feel useful. And if uncle Bobby wanted to help him and teach him, then who was he to say no? Maybe he could even impress Dean? Speaking of Dean: the guy was standing right next to uncle Bobby, and he was looking all smug. 

"So, you want to learn about cars, ay?" Dean asked, grinning wide. He looked so damn sure of himself with that gorgeous, gorgeous grin of his. Sam's cheeks were already burning and he nodded, biting his lip, looking at his uncle with a clearly confused look on his face. 

"I hafta go do some stuff in town, but Dean here suggested he could teach ya a thing or two 'bout cars. You'd like that, wouldn't ya, son?" Bobby was a fucking twat sometimes. The behavior of his uncle was enough reason to be using more British slang, because somehow that sounds much more insulting. Bobby probably knew that Sam liked guys, that guy literally knew everything about Sam before Sam even knew it himself. Impressive, right? And Bobby probably knew that he liked Dean as well. That man was evil.

"Yeah, sure," Sam softly said, watching as Bobby grinned and patted Dean's back before leaving, but not before telling them to  _be good._ And then Sam was alone with Dean, which was both horrible and great. "So, uh... I know some stuff about cars."

"Like?" Dean was staring at him, looking at him like he was challenging him, like he was amused. It was kind of making Sam nervous. He wasn't used to being stared at, and especially not by someone as gorgeous as Dean. 'Cause Dean was a freaking God, like, an Adonis. Yep, Sam was so attracted to him. He was fucked, wasn't he? He could no longer stop his brain from falling for Dean.

"They have wheels?" Right, he sounded very intelligent, didn't he? Why couldn't he just try and make himself at least a little attractive? All he had to do was form normal sentences and not giggle or blush or like, trip over his own damn feet. That was harder for him than he thought, though. "And like, an engine and stuff."

"Well, you're not wrong," Dean chuckled out, shrugging his shoulders before he patted the car next to him. It was that black car again. "This is my Chevrolet Impala from 1967. I know, it's really broken up and really, really bruised, but I am sure I can fix it. And I'm gonna tell you how it works, and how a car works. So, get ready to spend a whole lot of time with me, Sammy."

Sam didn't even bother telling Dean that it was  _Sam, not Sammy._ No, this was perfect. He got to spend time with Dean, and a lot of it too, which was just amazing. They were going to have so much fun together...

_Dear diary,_

_Dean is perfect. He just is. I might have just fallen in love with him, but does it matter? No. Besides, it's not like Dean is ever going to fall in love with me. Am I attractive? No. Not at all. Is he attractive? Yes. Get my point?_

_Anyways, uncle Bobby is still an asshole. But that doesn't matter. He got me some alone time with Dean, hours of it to be exact. And that's just perfect, just freaking perfect. Just so freaking great. It made me so fucking happy. Dean is going to let me help work on his car, and he's going to teach me how cars work. Obviously that's going to be hard, because I'm just really stupid, but that doesn't matter. It's going to be fun, so who cares? I don't._

_I'm going to try to get some sleep. I mean, I'm not sure if it's going to work because I'm just way too excited but that doesn't matter either. I'm gonna hopefully dream about Dean. ~~Maybe even jerk off to him.~~_

_Either way: goodnight._

_\- Sam_


	6. Day Six

_Dad called super early this morning, said he wanted to pick me up for some kind of asshole-ish party at his work. He only ever takes me to these parties to show me off. Usually he doesn't even fucking know my name, but whenever he can he likes to tell his boss about how 'his son is going to Stanford to be a lawyer'. If I had my way I'd be an artist or something like that anyways. I mean, I do want to be a lawyer but at the same time I want to stick it to my dad and run away and become the next Bob Ross. He would be so damn pissed off. I'd enjoy that, I would fucking love that. Besides, I don't even want to go to his party. Did I mention it's later today? Yeah, and he only told me now. I'd have to wear a fucking suit and smile and act smart but at the same time not say anything because anything I say can hurt my dad's reputation. They don't even know how much of a dick he is._

_They should see the real him, with his stupid 'I am so much better than you will ever be son'. He's a terrible dad. Look, I know there are worse people on earth than my father, but still. Even though he hasn't ever hurt me physically, he still hurt me mentally. He never listens. You could be telling him that you're dying and he would just look away after a second. He's just not interested, he just isn't. He doesn't give a shit if it's not about him. I could tell him the same story twice and he would be just as surprised the second time. And then I could say it a third time and he wouldn't even know what I'd be talking about. He's a dick. And I hate him._

_Whatever._

_Uncle Bobby says I have to go for 'bonding time'. Hopefully the car dad will pick me up in will crash and burn._

_I am not going to enjoy today._

_\- Sam._

__

Life was terrible. Sam had been picked up by his father who first told him to pull on a nicer suit and that he should have gotten a haircut, and then they drove in silence for forty whole minutes. Honestly, the only reason Sam had his hair long in the first place was that he knew it annoyed his father a lot. He liked pissing his father off, it was his happy little fun time. He could make fun of his father in his head, and his dad would never know. 

The party was terrible too. There wasn't even cake, just a buffet with 'healthy snacks'. Fuckin' salads and those cocktail sausages. His father worked for this huge, rich, important company, and the only thing they could afford was cocktail sausages? Sam was very disappointed. 

He didn't even really understand why he was there. No one talked to him, and all he could do was sit in the corner and sip water because no one would give him wine. Which was also extremely unfair, by the way. Sam had never been in a room with so many people he wanted to smack. Eventually he even wanted to smack himself just so maybe he would pass out and he wouldn't need to go through this crap anymore.

Going back to Bobby had never sounded this good. Sam couldn't stop thinking about Dean while he was at the party, just staring at the wall or at the floor or at shoes, watching people walk around and act like they thought the other ones were funny. It was ridiculous. Adults were ridiculous. At least Dean was nice. Sam really hoped him and Dean would start working on the car again soon, it would be so much fun. He would enjoy it a lot, and he really hoped that Dean would too. In his mind, he would. And in his mind they would kiss, too. A lot. 

Yep, Sam was in love with Dean, and he hoped that maybe one day Dean would be in love with him too. It probably wouldn't happen but, Sam could hope, right?

_Dear diary,_

_I might have overreacted a little this morning. Well, I haven't. The party sucked a lot, I hated it and rather wanted to be dead. It was horrible. I have never seen so many people in one room pretending to actually like one another. That part was pretty hilarious._

_I couldn't stop thinking about Dean the entire time. Mostly because I was bored, but also because I am extremely in love with him. That guy got me falling hard for him, and he probably doesn't even know it. Hell, I don't think Dean knows how extremely gorgeous he is. He probably got guys and girls everywhere falling for him. The entire town is probably in love with him._

_But maybe I can somehow make a chance? No. I'm not going to change myself for him. If he likes me, which I doubt, he needs to like me for me. Not for something I pretend to be. _

_Anyways, I have to go. I'm very hungry and uncle Bobby made dinner._

_\- Sam_


	7. Day Seven

_Dear diary,_

_Life fucking sucks, doesn't it?_

_Apparently dad and uncle Bobby have talked a bit while I was upstairs getting ready for bed, and they talked about Dean. I'm pretty sure uncle Bobby has only said that I think he's nice, but dad somehow figured that that meant more. And apparently dad's kind of a homophobe. He's one of those people that say they're not, until someone close to them is gay and they just treat them like trash. If my father didn't suck before, then he sucks now. I really dislike him._

_I managed to convince him that it truly is a friendship, though, just like uncle Bobby has tried to do. I don't want dad to know I have a sort of weird crush on Dean. Which I really don't, by the way. But seriously, what the hell does dad have against gays? Why does being gay make him feel so bothered? So what if I want to suck Dean's dick and make out with him? Not in that order, maybe, but definitely both. Who cares if I like him? I'm not bothering anyone with it now am I? I really dislike my father._

_Now dad said he might be able to get home sooner from his business trip, which I am certain is just a trip he's going on with his secretary. That girl has the fakest boobs in the entire world. And the fakest hair. And the fakest teeth. They're so white they reflect the damned light. But anyways, if dad is going to come home sooner, that means I won't stay here for twenty one more days. And that would mean that I could spend less days with Dean, which obviously would be horrible. I want to spend every single day with Dean._

_So, I'm really depressed today. I know that makes me sound kind of stupid, 'cause I have pretty much everything I could wish for because my dad's rich and so am I, but... I don't know, I'm just not really happy. Money makes life a lot easier, I do have to admit that, but it doesn't immediately make you happy. I hope that somehow today is going to get better. (Hopefully because of Dean). Maybe I'm gonna spend all day inside crying and baking cookies. We'll see._

_\- Sam._

__

Sam always tried to think happy thoughts. It was important to stay positive, because that could make you feel so much better about any situation you were in. So, Sam tried to smile and think of the positive things in life. But sometimes that was just impossible. Today was one of those days. Sam wanted to freaking give up and die. We all have those days, right? Those days were everything just seems to go wrong, and you just want to cry and ask God or whoever is in charge what the hell you've done to deserve this. 

Bobby had told him that Dean was outside, but Sam just told him that he wasn't feeling it today. He was just going to curl up in bed all day and cry and read. He had baked cookies, which he was going to eat all by himself. He wasn't going to share, not with anyone. These were  _his_ cookies, his damned chocolate chip cookies. He was going to eat all twenty of them, even if it took him all damn day. After baking his cookies and letting them cool off enough to be able to touch them, Sam moved his socked feet and walked over to the fridge to get milk. 

"Nice pants," Sam nearly dropped the carton of milk onto the floor, turning around quickly to see Dean -  _the Dean-_ watching him with an amused smile on his face. Sam looked down at himself then, seeing his beautiful pink soft sweatpants with little bees on them. Yeah, okay, he looked ridiculous. So what? Who even cares, right? Sam didn't even care, even if Dean was staring at him. "Bobby told me you weren't in the mood to fix cars today... I uh, I saw you go with your dad yesterday. I kinda know him, my dad used to work for him... You wanna watch a movie? At home?" 

Sam considered this, pursing his lips for a second. Watching a movie didn't even sound that bad, now did it? And watching a movie with Dean sounded even better. They would be close to each other in the same room, and Sam wouldn't even have to talk. Which he really liked, because he didn't feel like talking now that he was sad. And maybe Sam could even impress Dean with his cooking. "Do you like chocolate chip cookies?"

"Are you kidding me? Who doesn't? I love them!" Dean grinned wide, looking excited. Sam smiled back at Dean, mentioning over to the living room. He was glad he had cleaned up around there at least a little bit, but he knew that Dean knew uncle Bobby enough to know that it was Bobby who was the one who made all the messes. He didn't want Dean to think that he was just a really messy, dirty person.

"Go get comfortable, uncle Bobby's TV sucks but I can watch other things on my laptop so I'll go get it. Unless you want to watch some old western movie?" Sam asked, handing Dean the plate of cookies. Dean smiled wide, already taking a cookie and putting it in his mouth, taking a big bite with a happy groan.

"Old westerns are amazing, Sammy, so we are definitely watching one of those. Come on, let's have some movie time!" Sam chuckled as Dean pulled him over to the couch in the living room. See? Money made life easier, but friendship was what gave happiness. And, well, Sam liked to call Dean his friend. Dean made him happy, and they were going to watch a movie together. Maybe that day wasn't going to be that bad after all...

"So that's what they wear those hats for?" Sam asked, making Dean nod quickly, his lips stained with chocolate. "You're kidding me, right? That's ridiculous, I swear to God, if that's true I will eat uncle Bobby's trucker hat."

"Oh you wouldn't, that thing is glued to his head," Dean snorted, leaning back, watching Sam closely while the younger leaned in for another cookie. Everything was so perfect, really, and Sam wasn't even thinking about his dad anymore.

"You're so weird-"

Dean leaned in suddenly, kissing Sam's lips softly. It felt like fireworks to Sam. He had never been kissed before, or well, that was a lie. He had been kissed before, but that was by a girl in second grade. That didn't count, Sam hadn't even been in love with her. But this was a big surprise, Sam had definitely not expected Dean to kiss him. Why would Dean kiss  _him?_ Sam wasn't even half as gorgeous as Dean was. Maybe Dean somehow managed to fall onto him and lock their lips that way? There had to be an explanation because how in the hell could Dean ever like him? But, Sam just went with it. He kissed Dean back, his cheeks flushed darkly when Dean pulled away.

"S- Sorry," Dean stuttered out, his own freckled cheeks starting to flush darkly as well. Sam didn't really know what Dean was apologizing for, because, well, shouldn't Sam feel very honored that Dean chose him to kiss? Yeah, yeah he should. "I- I shouldn't have, or I should have asked, or-"

"No, no you didn't need to ask. That was amazing," Sam breathed out, smiling shyly at his friend. It had been amazing, Sam had loved the kiss and definitely wanted it to happen again. Very many times, in fact. Like, a thousand more times. If it was possible, Sam would love to just have Dean's lips on him all the damned time. "I wouldn't mind for that to happen again."

"No?" Dean asked, making Sam shake his head. The oldest boy then grinned, leaning in again to kiss Sam's lips for a second time. It was amazing, again, and Sam really loved it. This needed to happen all the damned time. Hey, maybe today wasn't that bad, huh? Who even gave a single shit that Sam's dad didn't like gay people? Sam was happy and he had Dean, and that was everything he needed...


	8. Day Eight

_Dear diary,_

_I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight, I'm too excited about what Dean did. He kissed me. I know right? Isn't that insane? Someone like him kissing someone like me? I never expected it either, trust me. It was wonderful, though. Like, it was the most amazing thing in the entire world. The best thing that has ever happened to me was this damned kiss. And it was completely unexpected. We were watching a movie, and then he suddenly leaned in and kissed me. And then afterwards he even apologized!! Why would he do that? It was amazing, it was the best kiss I've ever had (also the only one but Dean doesn't need to know that), and I just want it to happen again and again and again and again._

_His lips were the softest things my lips have ever touched. They were so plump and soft and amazing, I can't wait to kiss him again. I'm so glad uncle Bobby didn't see us kissing though, not sure how he would have reacted to that. I don't think it would be bad, I don't think he'd be mad or disgusted, it would just be awkward because uncle Bobby would make sure to make it awkward. He's just like that. He'd do that because he's evil._

_I also hope he doesn't read my diary because he would not let this go._

_Uncle Bobby, if you read this: you're invading my private space, I will cry. And you don't want me to cry, now do you?_

_Dean told me to meet him at the coffee shop today, so I'm going to do that. I can't wait to drink coffee with him and maybe kiss again. I really like him._

_\- Sam_

__

"You're in a good mood, aren't ya?"

Sam blushed, biting his bottom lip as he watched his uncle put down a plate full of bacon, eggs, and sausages in front of him. He always seemed to forget how observant Bobby was, but he seemed to figure out more things than any other human being did or could. Or maybe Sam had just been very obvious by practically  _skipping_ down the stairs and into the kitchen whereas usually in the mornings he needed at least one plate of breakfast and two cups of coffee to pretend to be a normal functioning human. But it wasn't his fault that he was happy, now was it? No, it was Dean's fault for kissing him and being the perfect gentleman and inviting him on a 'date'. He knew that Dean hadn't exactly uttered that word, but Sam was going to see it as a date anyways. Couldn't hurt, right? "Hmm, yeah."

"So what's got you smilin' like a fool?" Bobby asked, glancing at Sam before pulling his trucker hat more over his head. "Dean, perhaps?"

Almost choking on his food, Sam swallowed and poked at his eggs, not really knowing what to say or do. Like he said: he kept forgetting how observant Bobby Singer was. "Why would you think that? 'Cause that's totally not it," Sam said before starting to stuff the breakfast food in his mouth, trying to eat it as fast as possible. Yes, he did love breakfast food more than any other kind of food, but he mostly wanted to be quick so Bobby couldn't ask more questions. He just didn't want to embarrass himself, or give Bobby any blackmail material. "I gotta go-" Sam put his empty plate in the sink, wiping his mouth and making sure his shirt wasn't dirty. "'M meeting Dean at the coffee shop in town."

"Don't be back late and don't do anythin' I wouldn't do, kid!" Uncle Bobby yelled after Sam, shaking his head as he watched the kid run out. He loved Sam, the kid was great. When John told him Sam would come to stay with him for a month, Bobby was pretty concerned. He knew the kid's dad wasn't a good one, so he'd always wanted to help Sam even though he himself wasn't that great at being a father either. He'd be better at it than John, though. That guy hardly even knew Sam's name. Sam wasn't great at making friends, and since this was just a small town, Bobby had no idea what the kid would or could do the entire time. He was glad that Sam seemed to make a friend, though. Bobby didn't know Dean that well, but his parents were good people and he knew for sure that Dean was as well. And if it was going to be more than friendship, well, Bobby was going to do everything to protect Sam from his father...

Dean was already waiting for Sam when he arrived, which made Sam smile. That smile only grew more when Dean got up and pulled Sam in for a kiss. So the day before really hadn't been a mistake, huh? Sam wasn't sure what he had expected, but he definitely hadn't expected Dean to just kiss him. Not that he minded, because he didn't, not at all. Being kissed by Dean and having Dean actually mean it was the best thing ever in the world. "Sit down," Dean said, and Sam obeyed, sitting down in the booth opposite of his crush. "I wasn't sure what you'd like, so I didn't order anything yet. But, I do have to tell you that they have amazing pie here. Their apple is to die for."

"Oh, really? Then I'm thinking I should definitely get a slice of pie," Sam said, grabbing the menu and looking at the different kinds of pie. "Maybe we can get a different slice each and share? I mean, so I can try out both. It's been a while since I had pie."

"You're kidding me, right? You're telling me not everyone has a slice of pie at least once a week?" Dean asked, grinning from ear to ear as he waved a waitress over and ordered them both a slice of pie, cherry for Sam and apple for himself, and a strawberry milkshake to share. Yes, they were actually going to share a milkshake, which was exactly like you see in the movies. It was so romantic, wasn't it? "Okay, you're gonna love me after eating this pie, trust me."

Sam chuckled, humming softly. He was sure it wouldn't take much to make him love Dean, because he had already fallen hard for him, but it wasn't like he was going to admit that. Whatever, though, this was going to be fun. He was going to have fun with Dean, and he wasn't going to think too much about anything. This was about Dean and him, not about anything else. They talked for a while about pretty much nothing, just some other people in the coffee shop, and then their orders were placed in front of them. After thanking the waitress, Sam took his fork and took a bite of his pie, moaning at the taste. Dean was right, it was heavenly. It was literally the best pie Sam had ever tasted.

"Eh? Eh? Wasn't I right?" Dean was grinning by now, knowing he'd been absolutely right. He was smiling so smugly that Sam was sure the corners of Dean's mouth had to hurt. 

"Yeah, you were right. This is the best pie ever." Sam ate happily, sharing his pie and milkshake with Dean. This was the best date ever, even if it wasn't a date. It was just great, because he loved spending time with his newly made friend. Yeah, he didn't care what anyone thought of him and his gay ass as long as Dean was right there with him...


	9. Day Nine

_Dear diary,_

_Even though right now my life is going pretty damn amazing, I still think it's never really fair._

_I met a guy one day who didn't seem like a bad human being, but yet he had to get his leg amputated because of blood cloths. That seems like a punishment to me, right? A punishment for bad behavior. I don't really believe in God. Not anymore, at least. Obviously I can't say 100% that he doesn't exist, 'cause I can't prove that he doesn't. I know this is a very depressing diary entry, but I can't see Dean today so yeah, I'm depressed. He had to go to a farmer's market with his mother, and well, that means he's not here. Which sucks. Maybe this is my punishment? For, you know, for being gay._

_I am all over the place with the last paragraph, aren't I? Sorry, I just don't really know what to talk about. It's hot outside, the sun is driving me crazy, and I couldn't sleep because I kept thinking about Dean. Dean's hair, Dean's lips, Dean's green eyes, Dean's freckles, Dean's soft hands, Dean's laugh. Yeah, maybe my crush is getting worse, huh? I just hope that he likes me as much as I like him, that the feeling is mutual. Because if not, well, it's gonna get awkward and I have no idea what I would do then._

_I really think Dean and I would make a cute couple, the best couple actually. We share a lot of interests but yet are completely different. He's more outgoing, less shy, less insecure. Or at least he comes off that way, I don't know him enough to know him. That sentence doesn't make any sense but like, you know what I mean. I want to get to know him, though. Every last bit of him. Dean is just... Everything I've ever wanted. I know I'm still young and probably don't know what I'm talking about but I do know that Dean makes me happy, and I haven't been truly happy for a long time. Not with dad and every shitty little thing that has been going on in my life._

_Yes I'm young and my problems most likely won't be problems anymore in a few years, but they are now. And they suck. And they hurt me. So they're problems. Because yeah, there are people who don't have food every day but that doesn't mean that my problems don't matter, right? Even people who have everything in the world can be depressed. I might be rich, and I might be able to get everything I want, but that doesn't mean that I'm happy. Money makes life easier, a whole lot easier, but that doesn't mean it immediately brings you happiness. What with a deadbeat dad and no friends. How could I be happy that my dad can get me tickets to the next Beyonce concert when I don't have anyone to go with me?_

_I haven't told Dean about my father yet, or about how rich I am- well, how rich dad is. I don't really think I want him to know, because there's a big chance he will think differently of me. I might be under twenty, but I've already had my fair share of people who only wanted to be in my life for daddy's power and money. That's why I can't really trust anyone who suddenly starts acting nice around me. Dean is really nice, but he doesn't know me, doesn't know all of me. Which is good, I really like that. It means he basically can't have an alternative motive for being my friend. That makes me feel less anxious the entire time. I just want to be friends with someone who doesn't want me to pay the entire time for everything they need because 'they are my friend and friends do that for each other'._

_The Wesson family, my family, is pretty well-known around the entirety of America. Which, again, is mostly because of how rich we are. My dad is a millionaire or something, I'm not even sure. His job seems incredibly boring to me, not to mention that I and probably everyone else on the world knows that he is indeed fucking his secretary. He's not exactly being very secretive, taking her on 'business trips'. He's just not really smart, I think. I don't really think many people know about me, though. My dad mostly keeps me out of the media, probably because he isn't exactly proud of me. I bet he wants me to be more like him: a selfish asshole who needs to be liked by everyone and yells at his only child. As you can imagine, I don't really want to be like that. I want to actually end up in Heaven. I'm pretty sure dad is already soulless, though._

_I'm not really going to be doing much today, aside from contemplating my life and every decision I've ever made. Which should obviously be a lot of fun. I hope I don't go crazy or anything._

_I can't wait for it to be tomorrow so I can see Dean again. ~~I miss him.~~_

_\- Sam_

 


	10. Day Ten

"Can't sleep either, huh?"

Sam let out a very unmanly squeak, quickly turning around to see his uncle sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of whiskey in front of him, looking tired. The younger male had just crept downstairs to the kitchen to get a glass of water and maybe a midnight snack, because he was hungry like any other human being would be, and he thought he was alone. Turned out he wasn't, because his uncle apparently couldn't sleep either. "No, not really."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I thought you'd noticed me, kid." Bobby said, taking a sip of whiskey before stroking his beard. Sam turned back around and finished filling up his glass with water, moving to sit down at the table as well. His socked feet slid across the floor a little, and Sam realized that maybe he'd used too much cleaning detergent. It was all slippery slidey now, he'd make a terrible househusband. "You doin' okay? You've been kinda mopey yesterday."

"It was nothing, just didn't get to hang out with Dean," Sam muttered, rubbing his eyes while he yawned. God, that sounded so pathetic. He'd known Dean for what, a week now? And he already couldn't spend a day without him. Maybe it was because he had never been in love before, or maybe because he had severe daddy issues, or 'cause Dean was just really attractive. Whatever it was, something was making Sam fall very hard for Dean, harder than he ever thought would be possible. "Stupid, right?"

"Not really, no. Kid, you're a teenager. Your damn hormones are all over the place all the time. 'Sides, Dean's a good kid," Bobby gruffly said, taking another sip of his whiskey. He was right about that, Sam could agree that Dean  _was_ a good kid. Sure, that made it sound like Dean was dead, but even though Sam didn't know every detail about the young man's life yet he still was convinced that Dean couldn't ever have done anything wrong. He would love to learn all the details about him, though, and he had the time to do so. Sam was sure that no matter how much he would find out about Dean, there would never be anything bad. "Of course you'd be fallin' for him."

"So... You don't mind?" 

"Don't mind what?"

"That I'm gay, or something like that. Dad would hate it if he'd find out." Sam bit his lip roughly to stop himself from talking, refusing to look up at his uncle. He had never really thought much of his sexuality, but he knew that he wasn't completely straight. He also knew that his father was homophobic, which fucking sucked. But, then again, he didn't really care about his father so it didn't really matter to him if his dad wasn't okay with his sexuality. Sam wasn't okay with a lot that his father did either. Uncle Bobby scoffed, shaking his head.

"You're kidding me, right? Son, I don't give a damn what you're doin' or who you're doing it with. I don't care who you'd fall in love with, all I care about is if he or she is right for ya," Bobby spoke up, putting his glass down onto the table again, hard enough for some whiskey to swish over the side. It didn't matter much, the wood of the table was already stained anyways. "That no good of a father of yours can stick it up his ass. You're the best son he could've wished for, kid. Hell, there's been so many times I wished I could'a taken care of you. If that ass kicks you out, know that you're always welcome here. You're a great kid, Sam, no matter what John says or thinks." 

Sam stared at his uncle for a while before the man shook his head, getting up to pull Sam in for a tight hug. The younger clutched to the back of Bobby's shirt, trying his hardest not to cry, but failing to do so. He was just so happy that there was at least someone who would accept him no matter what, someone who Sam could proudly call his family. His uncle was amazing. "Thank you, uncle Bobby, you're the best."

"No problem, kid. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine." Bobby muttered, pulling away again after a while. Sam smiled and wiped his eyes dry before he drank his water. It had definitely done him good to talk to Bobby 'cause it had taken away some of the anxious feelings about no one ever loving him, or no one ever accepting him. Like he said before: he didn't care much about his father not wanting him to be his son anymore. He  _had_ been afraid of Bobby not accepting him anymore, that would break his heart and his spirit. He loved his uncle so much. Bobby had always been there for him, had always been more of a father for him than John had ever been. "Go get some sleep, Sam."

"Thanks, uncle Bobby." Sam put his empty glass away, smiling a little at his uncle before he went back to his bedroom, getting back into bed. He had never been this glad and relieved about anything, because Bobby was the only family member he really cared about, and he wanted to be loved by his uncle. Sam felt very lucky that he had someone as amazing as Bobby Singer in his family...

_Dear diary,_

_Obviously today I had planned to go out and spend time with Dean again, but plans changed. I wanted to spend time with my uncle instead._

_Uncle Bobby and I had a bit of a talk last night. I went downstairs to get something to drink and I guess me being sleepy I didn't really have a brain to mouth filter anymore. I asked him if he'd mind it if I was gay and well, he doesn't. He loved me, and even if dad would kick me out he would take me in. I could live with uncle Bobby. That would honestly be the most amazing thing in the world, ever._

_So, Bobby and I went grocery shopping, worked in the scrapyard, ate lunch together, and went to the library together. I had a lot of fun, and Bobby did too. It was nice to spend time with him. Sure, I would've loved spending time with Dean but I don't feel guilty or regret that I didn't. I like spending time with him, but doing this with Bobby felt right. I'm glad we got to do this together, and if I had any say in it I would stay with Bobby forever._

_I'm going to bed now, feeling great about the bonding time I had with my most favorite human being on earth. I bet I'm gonna get some nice sleep._

_\- Sam_


	11. Day Eleven

_Dear diary,_

_DEAN IS BACK!_

_\- Sam_

 

Sam couldn't help but feel giddy the entire morning. He knew that Dean was back, and he knew that he could meet with him that day, and that was just  _amazing_ to him. He'd missed Dean so much, even though he knew that was ridiculous. Dean had been gone for what, a day? And Sam was acting like he hadn't been able to breathe for that amount of time. He was kind of disappointed in himself, 'cause of how stupid he was behaving. He was basically a desperate teenage girl.

He could hardly force his breakfast down his throat, so nervous that he was. He was terrified that he'd throw it all back up. Uncle Bobby had just eyed him, shook his head, said something about ' _those darn teenagers_ ' and then walked off, letting Sam go without telling him to eat up. After that, Sam had spent maybe twenty to thirty minutes standing in front of the mirror in his room, trying to figure out what the hell he should wear. He needed to look cute, sexy, smart, and not desperate, all at the same time. And that was pretty hard for someone as desperate as Sam, who also wasn't very sexy. 

No, if anything, Sam was a very... Lanky and tall and somehow still chubby, not at all amazing like every other guy his age seemed to be. It was very annoying. He had no clue who's fault it was, he'd never really known his mom and his dad was pretty much all suit. Sam hoped that after puberty he would fill out and finally become tall and handsome and muscled. He didn't think it was ever actually going to happen, but he hoped it would. Sam could always hope, right? Even if it wasn't realistic at all. Sam had never really liked himself, and he hadn't thought that someone as obviously perfect as Dean could ever like him. So, yes, he was shocked about that fact. Thoroughly shocked. It just didn't make sense.

Obviously it had gone through his head late at night that Dean was just using him like everyone else had always done. But then again, Dean didn't know that Sam was very incredibly rich, now did he? No one had ever told him, so how was he supposed to know? Besides, why would Dean do that to him? It were just Sam's stupid late night thoughts that made him go crazy and hate himself, that was just a normal human thing. 

Just anxiety, something that a lot of people felt. That was nothing special.

Anyways, Sam was going to text Dean and hopefully they could meet up and Dean wasn't going to leave again. Ugh, okay, Sam  _really_ needed to calm himself down, he was acting like a crazy stalker. And he shouldn't, because he didn't want to freak Dean out. And he was definitely going to do so if he kept acting like this. He needed to be calm, collective, poised and elegant. Like a lady. And he was somehow going to have Dean fall for him like he had fallen for Dean...

Sam sucked up the milkshake through his straw, looking around while nervously tapping his foot on the floor. It was a strawberry milkshake, he had ordered it because Dean said that he liked that a lot an hey, if they were going to have lunch together at this diner he should at least get Dean a nice drink that he liked, right? But Dean hadn't shown up yet and the milkshake was starting to get warm and Sam just started drinking it. He'd order a new one when Dean arrived.

 _If_ Dean would arrive.

Sam sat there for an hour, waiting for Dean. But he didn't arrive, and Sam left the rest of the milkshake  behind. A thick, lukewarm, sticky pink reminder of what he thought had been his and Dean's friendship. Great, now he was being let down by someone of whom he thought was a friend. He was definitely going to cry and smash some plates on the kitchen tiles and Hell, maybe he was even going to smash the windows of Dean's beloved Impala. No, he wasn't going to do that. But he was going to lay in bed, cry, and think about doing it. 

Crying sounded really good by now, 'cause his heart hurt and he just wanted to get in bed and never ever get out again. At this time Sam wished he was like his father, because at least then he wouldn't feel anything...


	12. Day Twelve

Dean felt horrible.

He knew he was supposed to meet up with Sam the day before, but he just couldn't. Not after he found out the truth. He didn't understand why Sam had lied to him like that- well, it hadn't exactly been lying, he had just left out the truth. And besides, did he really ever have to tell it? There had never been a need for it, right? So maybe it wasn't Sam's fault. But that didn't mean Dean didn't feel hurt about it, though.

It wasn't Sam's fault. This whole thing, the whole last name thing, the whole Wesson thing, there hadn't been a reason for it to come up in any of their conversations. They hadn't exactly ever talked about Sam's family, and that made Dean feel kind of selfish because they had talked about his family. They'd talked about his mom and how much she did for Dean and how much Dean loved her, but they had never talked about Sam's family. Except for uncle Bobby, of course. But that wasn't even Sam's real uncle. There was no actual relation between them.

Dean didn't get why he was so hurt. He doubted that Sam was a bad person, because until now Sam had been the nicest guy Dean had ever met. He didn't seem like he could ever do anything wrong or bad, so how the hell did someone that nice get a father like that? The Wesson name wasn't a very well liked name in Dean's family. This was because Dean's father used to work for mister Wesson, but had accidentally made a single tiny mistake and then got his entire life ruined by mister Wesson. That man was insane, crazy, disgusting. No one should ever trust that man. 

If anything, Dean felt sorry for Sam. Yeah, Sam's father had sort of made Dean's father into an alcoholic and he had eventually killed himself, but Dean could not imagine how it must've been to grow up with that asshole. To be raised by someone so wretched and dark. And how the hell did Sam not turn out to be just like his father, right? Mister Wesson was extremely proud of himself, but Sam had never even mentioned his last name or his father. So that meant that he couldn't be proud of who his father was, right? Dean wouldn't be either, but it was a good sign that Sam didn't like his dad. 

Well, obviously that meant that Sam probably had several mental issues and daddy issues and what not, but still. It was better than thinking that his father was a righteous man when he obviously wasn't. Because mister Wesson hurt more people than Sam probably knew. Dean could not believe that mister Wesson didn't know that the things he was doing were wrong. How could anyone just have such blind faith in themselves? How could anyone just think that everything they did was right because they were rich and important? Just because someone is less wealthy than you are doesn't mean you can just treat them like garbage, right? But if Sam doesn't know everything his father had ever done to people, then mister Wesson knew that he was doing wrong things. And that would be interesting.

Dean knew he could easily get revenge on Sam's father by somehow hurting Sam. But what was the point? Was Sam's father actually going to care? Because Dean doubted that. Mister Wesson didn't often talk about his only son, his only child, which meant that he didn't actually really like the kid he had. Which meant that he wasn't proud of Sam. Which then in return meant that they didn't have a great relationship. Then there was no point in using Sam to get to Sam's father, right? Because it would only hurt Sam, and not Sam's father.

No, instead, Dean had to be an adult and had to just talk to Sam about what he had found out. And he had to apologize for hurting Sam by not showing up. He'd only done that because he was a coward, because he had gotten the fear inside of him that maybe Sam was just using him to hurt him. Because Sam's father had hurt Dean's father, maybe Sam was going to hurt Dean? But why? There was no reason for that. And if Dean just talked to Sam, maybe every paranoid thought that Dean had could just be cleared up. He should protect himself and Sam from getting hurt by just talking to the boy and not be an idiot anymore. But hey, when was Dean ever known for not being an idiot?

"Hey." Dean softly said, making Sam glance up before he huffed, turning away from Dean. "Oh come on. I know I've been a dick, but... Give me a chance to explain myself, please? I just need a minute, okay? And if you decide to hate me forever, then go ahead. But just please give me a chance."

"Fine, you get a minute."

"Thank you... I found out who your father is," Dean softly said, making Sam tense up, not looking at Dean. It was like it scared him that Dean knew about this. Dean wasn't really surprised by that, because obviously pretty much everyone on earth hated Sam's dad, but Dean wasn't like that. Yeah, of course he hated Sam's dad, but that didn't mean that he should also hate Sam. Dean wasn't like his father either, so why should Sam be? "It's Sam Wesson, right?"

"Yeah. And now you hate me, don't you?"

"Well, no. I hate your dad, yeah, but not you. Because you've done nothing wrong." Dean spoke up, making Sam look up at him with a frown. Had Sam never had anyone be kind to him or something? Was he always judged for his father's actions? Because that would just be horrible. He deserved much better than that. Did this kid have any self esteem at all? "You're not the one to blame for your dad's actions."

"Thanks," Sam whispered, smiling a little. "So uh, why didn't you show up? If it's not me you hate, then why did you, y'know, leave me like that? It kinda sucked, the waitress kept looking at me like I was all pathetic. I hated it."

"Yeah, well, I bet you kinda looked like a hurt puppy. Which I'm really sorry for. I just... Wasn't as wise about this whole thing yesterday as I am today. I thought maybe you'd hurt me too, like your dad hurt mine-"

"My dad hurt your dad?" Sam asked, frowning again by now. He looked like he just heard something that was horrible to him, which it probably was. It was never nice finding out one of your parents hurt someone else's parents, right? Especially not the parents of the one you have a crush on. Dean started to say that it was nothing, but Sam took his arm, shaking his head. "No, I need to know. It's not nothing, okay?"

"My dad used to work for yours," Dean softly started, looking down. He didn't really want to talk about this, it would probably make Sam feel bad about this whole stupid thing. This was a horrible idea. "One day he filed something wrong, got some numbers messed up. He fixed it, but your dad got mad and fired him and basically took all our money in a lawsuit. So... A year or so later, my dad killed himself."

"Oh, God," Sam breathed out before he moved to pull Dean in for a tight hug. It was actually really nice to hug Sam, to be so close to him, to feel so warm and cared for. Maybe this  _had_ been the right thing to do. Yeah, Sam was definitely not a bad guy, now was he? "I'm sorry, Dean-"

"It's not your fault, you're not your dad... Wanna go work on the Impala with me?" Dean asked, pulling away a little to smile softly at Sam. The boy nodded, moving to kiss Dean's cheek before taking Dean's hand in his. Dean smiled, letting himself be pulled toward the junkyard. Yeah, talking to Sam had been a great idea. He was glad he'd just done it, because Sam wasn't like his dad. And everything was going to be just fine between them...


	13. Day Thirteen

_Dear diary,_

_Apparently my father is even worse of a human being than I thought. Or well, by now I have doubts that he even is a human being. It wouldn't surprise me if he's possessed by a demon, if he came from Hell. Something dark and nasty and disgusting is withering inside of him. My dad ain't right in the head, let's just say that. When Dean didn't show up for our last date, I was afraid that he had been joking with me all this time. That he had changed his mind anyways. I wouldn't blame him, because compared to him I'm pretty much a nobody, right? But surprisingly it wasn't because of me: it was because of his father. Which is probably even worse._

_Dean told me that my father probably killed his father. Not like, stabbed him or something, but he had driven mister Smith to suicide. And that's just horrible. Dad never told me about this- I don't even want to call him 'dad' anymore. Who would want to have something like my father as their father? He's a horrible human being. He killed someone, he basically murdered someone. And yet he never talked about it._

_It's not that my father doesn't enjoy bragging about stuff he does, which is never really good stuff, so why didn't he ever tell me about this? Strange, right? Yeah, if I hadn't yet hated my father, I would have done so now. But I already hated him, I hated him so much. He's the most horrible human I've ever met, and all I've ever wanted was for uncle Bobby to adopt me. I mean, it's too late now because I'm already an adult, but that doesn't mean I don't want to live with Bobby. It would be much more fun._

_Anyways, Dean and I are doing okay. We went and worked on his car yesterday, he explained more things about it and well, I feel like a car mechanic. Which I'm not, because I'm pretty sure car mechanics do more than just stand and hold... Whatever I was holding. It was made of metal, with like a screwy part at both sides. A hole at one side and a sort of claw at the other side? I have no idea what it's called. But we talked, Dean seemed to be happy, so I was happy too._

_I really like Dean. He doesn't blame me for what my father did. Obviously I apologized, because my father would never in his life do such a thing, but he told me that he wasn't blaming me. He told me that they were my father's actions, not mine. And the fact that my father is such a horrible human being doesn't mean that I am. I've never felt so glad that someone could see through my dad's horrible ways, even if Dean's father had died because of my family._

_It's times like this that I wish my mom was still alive._

_Dean and I are going to the mall, get some parts for his car. And I think we're even going to eat something. He likes burgers. I'm more of a salad type, but God, the sounds that man made while eating were just sinful. I love them._

_\- Sam_

__

"So, this is a thing you do what with?"

"Were you even listening at all yesterday?" Dean asked, grinning wide as he held up another part he was buying for his car. It seemed to Sam like it was just another metal thing, and he had no idea what it was or how it worked or what it did. Look, he was smart as hell, but jeepers what even was the inside of a car? He knew how to drive one, but if it broke it broke and Sam would just... Get someone to repair it. Dean was talented, he would repair the thing himself. And Sam was very impressed with that. 

"Hey, you were distracting me," Sam said, poking at Dean's ribs. Yeah, hot and sweaty Dean in a very tight shirt which clung to his body which was pretty much the best body Sam had ever seen? Yeah, there was no way that Sam could focus on anything but Dean's chest. He was a teenager, okay? Hormones, man, hormones all over the place. All he wanted was Dean right now. And forever, always Dean. "It wasn't my fault you're so hot. I tried to listen, really, but all I could hear were your abs."

"My abs? I really hope they weren't actually talking," Dean laughed, shaking his head before he kissed Sam's cheek. "C'mon, let's get these parts paid for and get some lunch. Maybe later I'll show you my uh, my abs without a shirt." Sam's eyes widened and he nodded quickly, maybe a little too enthusiastically. He looked kinda pathetic and desperate. But Sam didn't mind much, because Dean just laughed again. He looked so happy, and that was all Sam really needed. Yeah, he'd made up his mind. He was going to fight to live with Bobby. He'd be happier like that. No more being anywhere near his asshole father, ever. 

Sam and Dean made their way over to the diner after paying for the car parts, sitting down in a booth and ordering some lunch while laughing and kissing. They were like the cutest couple ever. The couple you'd feel jealous of, but you didn't resent them. You wanted to be them, but you also loved how happy they were. The perfect couple. Even though they were young, it was clear that they knew what they were getting into with this relationship. They were taking it slow, they were figuring out each other's limits and making sure to see if the other was comfortable with what they were doing. And that was perfect, it worked for them.

They ate their lunch, shared a milkshake and a slice of pie, before they went to Bobby's. The impala was nowhere near close to being finished, and working on it didn't go very fast with Sam kissing Dean all the time and sometimes even tickling him, but it was nice anyways. They had fun, and that was all they needed. They didn't think about their pains and troubles, but they knew they could talk about it if they wanted or needed to. Happiness filled them both, and they hoped it would last forever and ever. We all did, but this isn't a fairy-tale, and things would soon go back to pain. Though, always have hope, because pain never lasts forever...


	14. Day Fourteen

"Sam! Hey, hi, I know it's early but c'mon, I have a surprise for you." Dean happily said right after Sam opened the front door. He glanced at the clock, sighing a little. Just half an hour ago, Dean had woken him up with a phonecall, telling him to get up because he needed to show Sam something. Obviously Sam had protested, _a lot,_ but in the end his crush on Dean had won and he had gotten up and dressed himself. But that didn't mean it wasn't early, though. Sam was still tired as hell, and he desperately wanted to go back to sleep. Who didn't want to do so? Sleeping was great.

"Early? It's..,  Sam glanced at the big grandfather clock in the hallway, barely resisting the urge to whine. God, he was pathetic, and he'd had eight hours of sleep but still. He always wanted more. Much more. Like ten hours more. Or a few days. "Eight in the morning. That's earlier than early."

"Fine, then go to bed and I'll keep your surprise all to myself. I'll have fun with it." Dean said, waggling his eyebrows. Sam rolled his eyes, letting out a deep sigh. He was too tired for this crap. But then Dean actually turned around and started walking away, something that had Sam's eyes widen and he squeaked, quickly stepping outside. Damn, he was glad he'd already pulled on his shoes, else he would've had some cold as hell feet and Sam was really not into that.

"Woah, wait! No, stop!" Sam called out, rushing after dean who just kept walking. Sam could pretty much smell the smirk that would be on Dean's face by now, though, and he hated the guy for it. Well, no, he didn't hate the guy. He could never hate Dean. Did anyone hate Dean? How could they? Dean was amazing, an angel. And Sam had such a big crush on him it was almost ridiculous. "I want it, whatever it is... Is it another car part? I don't know what I'd do with it but thank you anyways, I like it. I'll keep it forever."

"It's not a car part, I promise you that. I can be a little more romantic than that, Sam, I promise." Dean laughed, stopping just long enough for Sam to catch up with him before starting to walk to the road, Sam at his side. Sam wouldn't have minded getting a car part. It would've been a gift from Dean, and anything from Dean would have been amazing, just because it came from Dean.

"Car parts are romantic, considering you are so attached to cars. It's like you'd propose to me, since you love cars so much." Sam happily said, reaching out to hold onto Dean's hand. it was nice, their hands fit together perfectly. Even though Sam was four years younger than Dean, he was almost as tall as him. Which said something, because Dean wasn't a small guy either. In length, of course. Dean was built as fuck, like a brick wall. gorgeous and tan and freckled and- Sam was getting lost in his thoughts, he shouldn't be doing that. He could do that later today, when he would be alone in his room.

"Hey, I'm not proposing so don't get sad about that, okay?" Sam mock pouted, acting like he was sad. Dean just gently punched his shoulder and Sam grinned again, cheeks flushed a little. Dean was amazing, really. Sam had hardly helped Dean and the guy was already praising him like he'd built the entire Impala on his own. Sam was sure he'd gotten in the way of Dean more than that he actually helped him. "It's just something I felt like doing with you. Together. Since you've helped me with the car so much."

"I've held some... I don't even know what you call them. One of the things was a wrench, right?" Sam frowned, motioning moving a wrench. Or at least how he assumed a wrench worked. Damn, he was really not smart with these things. He had no clue how any car part worked. Yeah, he could drive a car just fine but if something was wrong with it he'd have no idea what the hell to do. But Dean? Dean would take the entire car apart and work on it, get covered in grease and oil and- Yeah, Sam really had too many hormones. Damn to being a teenager.

"Mmh. Smart boy. A wrench." Dean looked very amused, which he had every right to be. Again, Dean knew literally _everything_ about cars and Sam didn't even know what brands there were. If you said Toyota he'd just stare at you and ask you the color 'cause what even is a Toyota? A car, apparently. Probably with four weels and at least three doors. And a steering wheel.

"So like, I didn't do shit. I just stared at you like a lost puppy."

"Which in turn made me feel awesome about myself. But, here, look at this." Dean pulled Sam over next to the Impala, smiling proudly of himself. Sam looked down, staring at the picnic basket on the ground. Huh. Sam's mind slowly caught up with him, and he started blushing. Was this a date? Oh my God, if it was a date then Sam was so not dressed properly. He should've pulled on something that he looked much cuter in.

"A picnic basket... Are we... Are we going on a picnic?" He softly asked, Sam's face flushing a dark red. They were going on a damn picnic, that was so amazing 'cause it was so romantic. Holy Christ, Sam wanted to cry for some reason. Look, he ha never thought that he would ever get a boyfriend. And now he had Dean. Dean wasn't just a boyfriend, no, he was the most wonderful and perfect person on earth. He was kind, sweet, funny, smart, generous, forgiving, and just perfect. Sam wanted to be with him forever. Was that weird to think? He was still very young, only nineteen, and he had barely even started with his life. Was it strange to be ready to commit to this relationship?

"Yeah we are." Sam couldn't help it. He smiled wide and moved to pull Dean in for a hug, even having to wipe away some stupid tears. Yeah, this was amazing. He had never been happier than he was now with Dean, if he was honest. Dean made him feel special, like he was worth so much more, that no matter what mistakes his family had made he was still a good human being. That was honestly all Sam ever wanted to be, and all he had ever wanted for someone to see in him. "I'm guessing you like it?"

"I love it. Now let's go, I'm starving." Dean chuckled softly as Sam pulled him along to an actually functioning car, and Dean drove them to a nice place where they'd have some privacy. It was next to a little lake, and Dean put down a plaid on the grass before helping Sam sit down. "Comfy?"

"Mmh, very. You're really romantic, huh?" Sam grinned, making Dean blush a little before nodding, sitting down as well. He pulled out all kinds of things, like croissants and fruits cut up into little cubes and juice and coffee and what not. It was amazing, and Sam was pretty sure he loved Dean. How could he not? They ate, and the breakfast food was amazing, and Sam was so damn happy. Dean looked happy too, which was amazing. They talked about all kinds of stuff, like the cars and uncle Bobby and school and Dean's mom. It was like they'd known each other for years, they just fit together so perfectly. Sam wondered if they couldn't just get married already. They were old enough, right?

"So, are you enjoying yourself?" Dean asked when they were laying on their backs on the plaid, Sam curled into Dean's side, Dean's hand in Sam's hair. Sam was more than enjoying himself. He was sure they'd been out for at least three hours, but it just had been so much fun. He couldn't care less how long they were out there, even if they were going to be out all day long. As long as he was with Dean, Sam was happy. 

"Mmh, very much. This is amazing, De, thank you." Sam whispered, moving to gently kiss Dean's lips, his cheeks a soft pink. "Do you like it too?"

"I love it." Dean whispered, moving to kiss Sam again, cupping his cheek. Dean kissed amazing, always so gentle and full of feelings. Sam had no one to compare the kisses with, 'cause he had never kissed anyone else, but still. It was amazing. "Thank you for being you, Sam... Wanna go back to Bobby's?"

"Yeah, he's probably thinking we're having hardcore woodland sex or something." Sam laughed, getting up and helping Dean up, getting the stuff and cleaning everything up before they walked back to the car. Sam had never been happier in his life, he could honestly say that. He had Bobby, Dean, and he was very happy with himself for the first time in his life. Yeah, everything was going to be okay, Sam was sure of that...

_Dear diary,_

_Dean took me out on a date today. As you know, I've not been taken out on many dates before. So, I have no standards and nothing to compare the date to. But, I've seen many romantic movies and the dates in those have always been awesome to me. And Dean's date of today? Was amazing. He took me out on a picnic in the middle of nowhere. He'd gotten croissants and fruits and even squeezed some fresh orange juice all by himself. It was amazing, I nearly cried from happiness, and I just wanted it to keep on going forever._

_I really like him, you know? He's amazing to me, and I hope I am as amazing to him as he is to me. I wanna be with him forever. Or at least for a long time. Dean is the absolute best, and I'm going to make sure he gets treated the way he deserves to be treated: with all the love I can give him._

_Maybe next time I can take him on a date?_

_\- Sam_

 


	15. Day Fifteen

_Dear diary,_

_It's almost over. Well, I mean, out of the twenty-eight days that I had we're on number fifteen so there's still some days left, but it feels like it's almost over already. I guess I hadn't really thought that this would end too, because I hoped it wouldn't ever end. Is that stupid? Yeah, definitely. Because everything ends, right? Especially these crushes. They're stupid, and they're not gonna last. We're teenagers, it's not like we're actually going to end up together in the end. Besides, why would we? Does Dean really like me that much? I don't think so. Why would he? I'm nothing special, and oh yeah: my dad is an asshole who killed Dean's dad. Family sucks ass sometimes._

_Sometimes I'm terrified, scared that I will end up exactly as my father. Maybe it's in our blood, maybe my grandfather was just like him. Maybe I will just end up being a dickfaced selfish drunkard no matter what I do. In that case, why should I even try being good? I've never learned anything about my grandfather, no one has ever told me anything about him. I don't understand why, but it can't be good now can it? I'm scared of turning out to be evil and not being able to do anything about that. I don't want to hurt other people, especially not after having been so normal all this time._

_What if I hurt Dean? That would be the worst thing. Well, actually the worst thing would be hurting Bobby. Uncle Bobby has been there for me every time I needed him, and I'm not gonna choose Dean over him. But I wouldn't let Dean down either. It's just that Bobby is a dad to me, and I've only known Dean for fifteen days. He's nice, and smart, and sweet, and gorgeous, and perfect- but do I really think that we'll always be together? I hope so, yes. But I don't think so, if I think rationally._

_He's amazing, really, but he will move on in no time after I leave. Why? Because he's Dean Smith, beautiful and gorgeous enough to get anyone he wants. And why would he want me? Compared to Dean, I'm a nobody. A nothing._

_Anyways, I'm gonna enjoy myself for now. Enjoy the time I have left with Dean. And if he wants to stay in contact after I leave, then I'm going to have to say yes, obviously. I am not just going to stop talking to him, because I would love to continue our dating and all that. I'm just going to stay realistic so I don't get hurt when he leaves me eventually. Hopefully that's not going to happen._

_\- Sam_

 

"Uncle Bobby, have you ever thought about letting me stay here forever?" Sam asked while draping himself over the couch, upside down, feet in the air. He was bored. It was a rainy day, Dean wasn't going to work on the Impala, and he had to help his mother for a bit with cleaning. So, Sam was all alone, which meant that he was going to bother his uncle. That should be fun, right? Not for Bobby, probably. But did that really matter? Not right now.

"Yeah. But then you decided to make my carpet all muddy and I decided against it." Bobby grumbled, glancing at Sam from underneath of his trucker cap, raising a brow. Sam just grinned, blinking his eyes all innocent like. People had often told him that he looked like a puppy, that he could get anything he wanted if he used that look to his advantage. "Kid, your daddy ain't gonna allow it."

"What? Why not? He hardly even looks at me. I doubt he knows my name." Sam huffed out, staring up at the ceiling while he clenched his hands into fists. He was serious about this, he wasn't even trying to exaggerate. He was actually pretty sure that his dad had forgotten Sam's name a few times. Well, he'd actually called him by different names sometimes. "Dad doesn't care about me. Why would he want me to be unhappy and stay with him? I'm an adult now, I can stay with you if I want to. And I wanna stay with you."

"I'm sorry, son, but I tried. Trust me. Your father ain't giving you up." Bobby muttered, looking at Sam with a deep sigh before he looked back at the book he was reading. Or trying to read, if Sam would stop interrupting him. "Kid, I really am sorry. I wanted to take you from that father of yours, but I can't. He said he was gonna ruin me if I did, and well, knowing him he'd definitely do it. He is.. He ain't a good person, Sam."

"Oh I know that, he killed Dean's father."

"What?" Bobby looked shocked, a look Sam hadn't often seen on his uncle's face. Bobby always seemed to know literally everything. So, him not knowing something was weird. Really weird. It was kind of unsettling, actually. It made Sam nervous. "Did you just say... He killed Dean's father?"

"Yeah, ruined his life to the point of suicide." Sam said, frowning a little in confusion. If Bobby was confused, Sam was confused. Because Bobby knew everything. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Nothing... I uh, I have to go now. Stay here, boy." Bobby got up, leaving quickly. Sam frowned even deeper, sitting up in a normal way. Weird. That was really weird. Uncle Bobby was  _definitely_ not telling him something, and Sam had to figure out what the hell that was.


	16. Day Sixteen

"Hey," Sam moved to kiss Dean's lips, smiling wide. Dean just smiled back at him, sitting back so Sam could slide into the booth with him. Sam was pretty excited, he had missed Dean (even though they had barely spent any time apart) and he just really loved going to this diner with him. It gave him that kind of... '60's vibe. You know? Like, a diner with milkshakes and burgers and what not. But, without the homophobia. Or at least,  _that much_ homophobia. God, people were awful and strange weren't they? Like, why can't you just focus on yourself? Me personally? Just too tired all the time to care about anything anyone else does. Man, just take care of yourself, don't worry about anyone else. We're all gonna die in the end, do you want to spend your entire freaking life worrying about this shit? I don't. "You look gorgeous today."

"Ah, don't I every day?" Dean kissed Sam again, ruffling his hair before ordering their usual: a strawberry milkshake to share and two burgers. It wasn't really their usual because they hadn't been there often enough, but it kind of felt like they had. It felt like Sam had known Dean for years by now. Crazy, right? I mean, it couldn't be that way. They had only known each other for sixteen days, but somehow they felt so familiar with one another. It was great, but Sam was also a little terrified of it. I mean, he'd have to leave soon so, how was he going to function again with Dean not being around? He could hardly go a day without seeing the guy he had a teenage crush on, going like two or three months without seeing him in person would be hell. Though, then again, he  _was_ really rich so maybe he could just fly out here every weekend. Or maybe Dean could come live with him? The house was big enough, and Sam was usually alone anyways. "You look pretty damn gorgeous yourself too, Sammy."

Sam blushed, smiling sweetly before he thanked the waitress when she put down their milkshake. "So uh, Dean... I was thinking... I'm only here for vacation 'cause my asshole dad basically forced me to."

"But it is more fun than you thought it would be, right?" Dean teased, winking at Sam and kissing his cheek when they flushed. Sam hated how easily he seemed to be able to blush, it was never nice. He always seemed to embarrass himself in some way.

"Oh trust me, it was worth it. If I didn't hate my dad so much, I'd thank him." Sam said, making Dean snort. He leaned forward, drinking some of the milkshake before leaning back again, wrapping an arm around Sam's shoulders. This was so damn nice. He had never felt this loved before, and that was saying something. He really had a horrible father, didn't he? "But that's not what I wanted to say. I just wanted to say that in like, twelve days I'm going home again. And well, my home is a plane ride away. So we can't see each other very often anymore."

"Oh," Dean looked a little saddened, frowning as he looked at the table for a few seconds before he looked back at Sam. "Well, that's okay. We can text each other, right? And call each other and all that. It's not like there's no way of communicating."

"Yeah, I guess that's true... I'm really gonna miss you, though." Sam softly said, taking Dean's hand and playing with it. He smiled at the waitress, thanking her when she put down the food. They both started eating, just chatting about stuff. Nothing and everything, basically. "So how's the car?"

"She is doing great, I think I might be able to finally finish her in a few weeks." Dean happily said, stealing a few fries from Sam's plate which made Sam pout. The other just pecked Sam's lips before he ate the fries he'd stolen. Obviously that was very unfair, but Sam had a crush on him so whatever, he would let Dean do whatever he wanted. Even if it meant sharing his food. "Y'know, when she's done, I'm definitely taking you for a ride in it. You should listen to her purr, it's the best damn sound ever."

"Get a room, De," Sam laughed, kissing Dean's lips before he sipped some of the milkshake. "Sounds good, though. She's a real beauty, I'm sure driving her would be amazing."

"Hell yes it will be. I can't wait. And don't worry, Sammy. No matter how far you go, we'll still keep on talking, I promise." Sam smiled at Dean's words, nodding his head. Yeah, Dean was right. He was definitely going to try his hardest to stay in contact with Dean, he wasn't just going to let this go. He liked Dean, and Dean liked him. They belonged together, at least for now. And Sam was going to make sure they stayed together...

_Dear diary,_

_Dean promised me that we will stay in contact, even after I leave. I'm really happy about that, because obviously that was what I was afraid about. I don't want to lose Dean, he's the first one who I have really felt happy around. The first one who I could be myself around without being scared of maybe him using me for my money. He is just perfect, and I don't think I could really handle losing him. Maybe in the end, but for now I don't even want to think about it. It would take me a long time to get over him, you know? I really like him, it's kind of crazy but I like him so much._

_Anyways, I am just happy. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but Dean makes me happy. I didn't think that I would ever make a true friend, let alone get a boyfriend. And now Dean is here, and I consider him to be both. He's a great guy, you know? So I am kind of glad my father forced me to come here. I already said it to Dean, but if I hadn't hated my father so much I would've thanked him for this. It's his fault I met Dean. And now he has a son with a boyfriend, something he definitely won't be happy about. But hey, I like him not being happy with things I do. That means I am doing good things, and he can suck it. I hate him, he can suck ass, and I am one day gonna marry Dean._

_I mean, I might. I'm not sure. If Dean doesn't want it, then fine, I'll just cry for years._

_But let's not think about that yet. Tomorrow Dean's taking me out on another date. I know I said I was going to take him out on a date, but he wants to take me out so... I'm just letting him do that. And it's going to be awesome._

_\- Sam_


	17. Day Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update. That was mostly because I forgot about the story. Oopsie.

Sam chewed nervously on his lip, looking at his phone. Okay, it was almost time. Dean was going to pick him up at six thirty and it was... A quarter past six. Sam had waited ever since five, if he was honest. Dean was going to take him out to get some food and then they were going to watch a movie. Or at least, that's what Sam thought they were going to do. He was very excited for it, that's why he'd been waiting for such a long time. And because he was afraid that he was going to miss it. And he really did not want to miss it. He would hate it if he missed this. It would suck so many dicks. 

"Hey there, beautiful." Dean's sudden voice made Sam jump a little, surprised that he was suddenly next to him. He had been waiting for such a long time and now, stupid him, didn't even notice Dean coming up to him. Wasn't that stupid? Yeah, kind of. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't, don't worry. I was just a little caught up in my own thoughts, being so excited for this and all." Sam chuckled, getting up from where he'd been sitting on the steps leading up to the door to Bobby's house. "So, uh, I'm ready for it. Where are we going?"

"I thought that, since we've gone out to get food often, we uh, we could eat at my place? My mom's gone, and I made lasagna which hopefully isn't burning right now." Dean softly said, his cheeks flushing a little. Okay, yeah, that guy was damn adorable. Sam was so deeply in love with him. This was much more than just a crush, this was him actually being in love. Real love. How could he not be with Dean being so damn perfect? "So, let's go. I bet you're hungry."

Sam actually was hungry. Starving. He had made sure not too eat too much so he could eat whatever Dean was going to give him, and eating lasagna at Dean's house was probably the most amazing thing ever. Yeah, he had expected them to go to some restaurant but, this was even better. Just him and Dean, how was that not amazing? Like he'd said before: he was in love with Dean. And thus being alone with Dean was great. Perfect, actually. Maybe then they could kiss a lot, because Sam didn't really like doing that a lot in public, it made him feel embarrassed. 

The ride to Dean's house was silent, but a comfortable silence. They went inside, and God, did it smell amazing. Sam groaned a little, moving into the house and towards the scent of the lasagna. "Oh my God, Dean, this smells like Heaven. Can I eat the entire thing on my own, please?"

"Hey, you haven't tasted it yet so you don't know if it's actually good. But you can have as much as you want, as long as you let me have some too," Dean chuckled softly, making Sam grin. He sat down at the table, watching as Dean took the lasagna out of the oven. He cut up a few pieces, putting them on the plates before he put the two plates down onto the table. "Eat up, baby."

Sam grinned, moving to start eating. It was delicious. Delicious enough to make Sam moan. Dean was blushing by now and he started eating while Sam ate as well. It was delicious, it was so great. Dean was even more amazing than Sam had thought he was. They ate in silence, or well, as silent as something could be with a few moans here and there. Hey, Sam couldn't help himself. The food was just amazing. It was just fucking amazing. Dean should cook for him all the time 'cause Lord knows how much Sam sucked at cooking.

"So, uhm," Dean licked his lips, both of them having finished their dinner. Dean was blushing a little, smiling nervously. "Do you maybe want to have dessert on the couch while we watch a movie?"

"Yeah, definitely. I would love that." Sam whispered, leaning over the table to kiss Dean, making Dean smile. This was amazing. This was so perfect. This was the best date Sam had ever been on, and he was so happy. Dean made him happy, and that was all he'd ever wanted to be. Who didn't want to be happy, right? "Let's have dessert. And who knows? Maybe I'll even give you a second dessert."

Dean grinned at that, and they both went to the couch, hugging and cuddling. It was amazing, and Sam never wanted this to end. Ever. Because this was just perfect, and Sam was happy. He didn't want to leave, and when Dean asked him to stay the night, he told him that yes, he would love to stay. So, he stayed. They didn't do anything like that, mostly just kissing and cuddling which was great. And eventually they drifted off to sleep, which was great too. Sam was happy, and he hoped that Dean was really happy too. He was going to make sure that they were going to be happy together forever...


	18. Day Eighteen

_Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean Dean._

_That's basically all that's ever going on in my brain these days. Yes, I know. I'm the ultimate teenage girl right now. Is that stupid? Maybe. Is it something I'm ashamed of? No. Because, it's not really my fault. It's Dean's fault for being so damn perfect. He shouldn't be so perfect if he didn't want me to like him this much. So, yeah, it's his fault. I can't blame myself for it. Or maybe I can blame myself a little. Because I was so weak._

_I just saw his eyes and I was like: boom. I've fallen and I can't get up._

_Uncle Bobby says I listen to too many of those love songs. Again, not my fault. It's the only stuff that sounds good to my ears these days. And besides, shouldn't he be happy for me? At least I'm not the gloomy guy I usually was anymore. And that's an improvement, if I say so myself. I'm just always happy. Happy enough to help Bobby clean up around the place, and that's basically a miracle. A damn miracle indeed._

_No. But seriously, I'm happy. I really am. I know that I'm still young, but this doesn't feel anything like a teenage crush. I've had those before, and that was just me being like: oh you get candy for lunch and I want some of that. Or you know, the most popular person in school. Whatever, that's not what this is. I've actually not really met any of Dean's friends so I don't know if he's popular. Not that that matters. His popularity really isn't anything I'm interested in. Unless it matters a lot to him, 'cause then it becomes interesting to me to since I'm interested in everything he's interested in. (Does that mean I'm interested in myself? Asking the deep questions here)_

_On the page next to this one I tried drawing him. As you can see it did not work. He's not a stick figure like that. I'd really hoped that maybe the love I feel for him would inspire some artistic talents I never had before. But apparently not. No, I'm just as horrible at drawing as I was before this. I probably won't ever be good at drawing. And yes, Dean does have more hairs than five. I haven't actually counted the ones on his head but, well, they are very incredibly soft. And kind of a dark blond?_

_His eyes though. Oof._

_Big OOF._

_His eyes are like little fucking emeralds. I don't know how to describe that, I also don't really have a lot of talent for writing. As you might have already noticed in the horrible diary passages before this. But this is my story, and no one besides me is reading this anyways. Or at least no one is supposed to. (Uncle Bobby, I will burn all your caps). (Yeah, you read that right. And you know I will do that.) Anyways, Dean's eyes are like heaven. Not blue, but green. A green heaven? I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. And I'm not even saying anything, I'm writing stuff. But they are amazing. Beautiful, sparkling, gorgeous. And then he has these long lashes and freckles all over his face and his chest and his arms and his shoulders and I bet he has a lot of them everywhere else too. I kinda wanna find out._

_And his lips? An even bigger OOF. Like a double big oof. But I can't really write any bigger than this or the entire page will just be filled in with an oof. Just imagine that. Biggest oof for that guy's lips._

_And then I haven't even ~~talked~~ written anything about his personality. That's honestly the best thing about him. Yeah, sure. It's great that he's hot, and that's definitely a big plus (a really big plus), but would I have liked him if he was an ass? Nope. Definitely not. Would I have liked him if he was ugly? I would've definitely at least been his friend, maybe fallen in love with him over time. Can't say for sure, but I think I might have. 'Cause the outside matters less, doesn't it? Or at least that's what I think._

_Dean is just perfect, I can't say anything else. And spending a day without him like I am doing today is weird. Sure, I know that even if we would be together forever I wouldn't see him every second, but at least I'd come home to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. And the thought of that is amazing. I mean, who wouldn't want to wake up to Dean Smith's face? I would. And I hopefully have a chance at doing so. It would be great. But being without him today is kind of... Boring. Shitty. Ugh. That's the sound I'd make. Actually, I think I did make that sound at one point._

_Anyways, uncle Bobby said something about my dad visiting tomorrow so... I'm gonna just be gone the entire day. That sounds like a great plan, right? And I'm definitely keeping him away from Dean. And Dean away from my dad. So I'm probably just taking him on a nice date or something. Haven't decided on it yet. But whatever I'm going to do, let's just keep him away from dad. 'Cause dad is a dick. And we all hate him. And with 'we', I mean everyone._

_That's just a fact._

_Okay, so, I'm gonna help uncle Bobby on a car. Just so he can teach me a little more so I can help Dean a little better. And of course 'cause I like spending time with my uncle, because he is the greatest uncle alive. I really wish he'd been my dad._

_I'll write in you soon._

_\- Sam_


	19. Day Nineteen

"Samuel." 

Sam squeaked when he heard the sudden deep voice behind him. That definitely did not belong to his uncle, which could only mean two things: either someone with a very low voice had broken in and decided to call out his name, or his father was behind him. And you know what? Sam wasn't even sure which one he preferred, but it was probably the first one. As you might be well aware by now: Sam kind of disliked his father, and that was putting it lightly. 

"Dad, hey uh, what are you doing here?" Sam asked, even though he should have known. After all, uncle Bobby had told him that his father would show up. Sam had just hoped that he would be gone by that time so he wouldn't have to see him. That would've been great, but with Sam's luck that just wasn't going to work out. "I mean, uh," Sam's father had that look on his face, the one that told Sam that he should've worn something different than the bright red pajama pants he was still wearing. Preferably a suit. His father actually slept in these shiny silk pajamas, they looked like ridiculous old man pajamas but, whatever. Somehow the man thought that he could pull them off. He couldn't, by the way. He looked very weird in them. Hey, Sam could criticize his father's fashion sense (if he even had it) if he wanted to, his father was a douchebag after all. "It's great to see you again."

"I came here because I've been informed that you spend a lot of time with... A young man." Sam's father slowly said, making Sam raise a brow. I mean, yeah, that was obviously true but, what did that even matter? And how did his father even know that? Sam was sure that uncle Bobby would never tell John something like that, mostly because the man could freak out about things like this for seemingly no reason at all. "So, I'm here to take you home."

"What?"

Sam was trying hard not to freak out too much. This wasn't good, he was supposed to have at least nine more days with Dean. John couldn't take that from him, not now, not ever. That was just fucked up. Besides, what was so wrong about Sam finally having a friend? I mean, he hadn't had a friend for years. Probably not since he was like, five years old. So, why wasn't John happy about this? Any parent would be happy that their child finally had made a friend, right? Any normal parent, at least. But, John wasn't a normal father. He was a dick. A fuckhead. 

Yeah, Dean was a lot more than a friend too, but did that matter? Okay, yes it did. John was kind of a homophobe, after all. John was a typical white, middle aged guy: judgmental and with a huge ego that was very easily threatened. So, yeah, that kind of sucked. If he would ever find out that Sam might be gay or even bisexual, he would be thrown into one of those camps. And that would be if he was lucky. If that didn't happen, then he would probably just... Well, Sam didn't even want to think about that. He would definitely be disowned, but that wasn't really that bad. It wasn't like he wanted to be related to John anyways.

"Don't act like you're deaf, Samuel. I know you can understand me. We are going home because you cannot spend any more time with this boy." John said, glaring at Sam. Sam glared back, shaking his head. He wasn't going anywhere, he didn't  _want_ to go anywhere. He wanted to stay here, he wanted to stay with uncle Bobby and with Dean because, wasn't that where he belonged? "Sam, there's no need to protest because you are coming whether you want to or not. Do you understand that?"

"But I don't want that! I want to stay here, I like it here. At least uncle Bobby treats me like he cares about me!" Sam snapped, not even making John flinch. He didn't even look hurt by these words, while Sam was pretty sure any normal parent would. God, John was just a huge dick, wasn't he? Sam hated him so much. "And Dean is nice. He is a friend, and I don't want to leave him. I'll find a way to get into contact with him anyways, even if you take me away from him. We're friends, and we'll always be friends."

"You cannot be friends with him, Samuel." John said, his voice low like he was telling a secret, like uncle Bobby couldn't hear. But Sam was pretty sure that the man was listening in anyways, just so he could step up when John would go too far. That had happened before too, and that was definitely not a good thing. It had only made Sam hate his father more.

"Why, because you basically killed his father?" Sam asked, glaring even more at his father who did flinch this time. That was pretty impressive, he must've really actually felt something this time. There was no doubt about it anymore: John  _had_ actually driven Dean's father to suicide. Shouldn't he be in jail for that? "You did, didn't you? God, you're a horrible person."

"It's not that-"

"Then what is it, huh?" Sam was ready to smack John by now, even though he would never actually do that. He couldn't, mostly because he was sure John would punch him in return and Sam would definitely not win that. He was nowhere near as strong as his father was. Besides, John fought dirty. And Sam fought fair, so, that would never work out in Sam's favor either. "Come on, dad, just tell me. Why can't I be friends with Dean?"

"Because he's your brother."

_Dear diary._

_Fuck._

_-Sam_


	20. Day Twenty

_Dear diary,_

_Sometimes you think you've fucked up. Don't worry, it can always get worse._

_\- Sam_

__

Sam had absolutely no idea what to do. It wasn't every day that you learnt that the one you had a huge crush on and who was your boyfriend was also coincidentally your brother. Sam doubted highly that this happened often to anyone. Or that it had even happened to anyone before  _at all_ in the first place. Because, everyone had to admit that this was just insane, right? Sam couldn't even believe it, though he knew it was true. Or it had to be, because why would his father lie about this?

Once Sam's father spoke those words, Sam's life kind of fell apart. This was just insane, just fucking insane. Sam was in love with Dean, he had kissed Dean, he... Well, Dean was his brother, which meant that Sam was in love with his brother. And that wasn't a good thing, now was it? No, not at all. And the worst thing was that the first thing Sam thought was: 'how are we going to behave on our next date?'. And then Sam started thinking about sex, because they were brothers and that would be incest, and that was a bad thing. But, fuck, Sam couldn't just fall out of love with Dean, could he? At least he didn't feel like he could.

That day, after he figured out that Dean was his brother, Sam had locked himself up in his room, ignoring everything and everyone that stood outside of his door. He'd only texted Dean that he was caught up with his father and that he couldn't make it, because Dean deserved to know at least something. He didn't want Dean to worry or feel like he had done something wrong, Dean didn't know that they were brothers either. Or at least Sam hoped he didn't. Oh, that conversation was going to be awkward.

Sam didn't even know what to do or what to say.  _'Hey Dean, I know we're dating and I really like you but we're also brothers but can we please still keep on dating?'_ That was definitely not a sentence Sam even thought he was ever going to say, or think. This was just so insane and crazy, and Sam didn't even really know what was going on. Now that Sam was thinking about that, he should probably go ahead and talk to his father about that.

The young male got out of his room, walking downstairs and into the kitchen where he could hear his father and Bobby arguing over him. That was a nice greeting, huh? Sam walked in, moving straight over to the fridge to get himself something to eat. He was starving, not having eaten anything since the night before. He moved, getting himself some cereal before he sat down at the kitchen table, starting to eat. He looked up at his father and his uncle, chewing slowly.

"So?"

"So, what?" Sam's father asked, visibly confused. How could his son just be acting like this when he had found out the day before that he was dating his big brother? But Sam wasn't ready to freak out more than he had already done, and he wasn't just going to break up with Dean. It didn't feel right to do so, even if they were brothers. He knew it was wrong, but he  _loved_ Dean, and he couldn't change that. So, he was going to have his father explain this whole thing to him, and then he would decide what to do with Dean. And also kick his father's ass for never telling him this.

"Aren't you going to tell me about my brother? 'Cause, you know, I really wanna know about him and why you kept this from me. And from Dean." Sam said, stuffing more cereal into his mouth. The milk was cold and the cereal kind of soggy from age, but it was the best meal Sam had in a while 'cause he was starving. "And don't give me any bullshit, dad, I deserve to know."

"I met your mother ten years ago," John started, looking down. This was the first time Sam had seen his father this vulnerable, and it was kind of a weird look on him. Sam wasn't sure if he really liked it. "She was beautiful, but I was gone for work a lot. When we got married, I... Did some wrong things when I was on a business trip with Mary, Dean's mother. She got pregnant, and I didn't know until Dean was five. By then I already had another son, you, and Mary was already married. I... I did some other things and Dean's stepfather passed away-"

"Killed himself because you were an ass."

"And Mary and I never got back into contact. We decided not to tell you or Dean because we didn't see a point in it," John kept going, looking up at Sam finally. Sam tried to see if John was lying, he had some things he did with his face if he didn't tell the truth, but it seemed like John really was telling the truth for some reason. "I didn't think you and Dean would ever meet, let alone... Do... Things."

"Gay things, dad. Gay, incestuous things," Sam said, making his father wince and close his eyes. His youngest son smirked, reaching out to pat his father's hand. He loved this, not the whole incest thing or the fact that he was going to have to freak Dean out, but the fact that he could freak his father out. His dad totally deserved that. "So, now what?"

"I... I don't know. You can't see him again, Sam. You are brothers, you can't-"

"You're not going to decide what I do, dad. I'm old enough to decide that for myself, even if that means you kick me out," Sam interrupted his father, making John look up at him. John had threatened Sam with kicking him out many times before, but Sam knew that, now he was over eighteen, he could go ahead and decide where he wanted to live. "I am moving in with uncle Bobby, and you're gonna have nothing to say about me anymore. And not about Dean either. Have a nice day."

Sam got up, putting his bowl away before he went upstairs back to his room. He knew he had to talk to Dean, but he had to come up with a plan first so he wouldn't freak Dean out too much. And he had to get his mind straight. Did he want to still be Dean's boyfriend or should he listen to everyone else who would tell him that that wasn't a good thing because of the incest detail? Sam was going to have to figure that out too, and he was going to have to do it fast because Dean couldn't stop texting him and Sam wasn't going to be able to avoid him forever...

 


	21. Day Twenty-One

_Dear diary,_

_Today is the day I'm going to tell Dean what is going on. I've decided that I have to because there is no way it's fair to keep this from him. It hurt me when I found out, and hiding this from him for much longer is only going to make it worse. And I can't make it worse than it already is. I mean, finding out that we're related? It's the weirdest thing that could have possibly happened. It's the last thing I thought could happen. I mean, why would I think something like that is possible?_

_Yes, I wasn't so much surprised by my father perhaps having another child. He's a dirtbag, why wouldn't he have another child with some other woman? He didn't love my mother, he never did, so I honestly am not surprised about that fact. It just surprised me that out of all the billions of people on earth, we still somehow found each other and fell in love. It is crazy to me. Kind of a really big coincidence, right? It feels like there's just more at play here, like there had to be more at play here. How else would you explain this? I know it sounds crazy too that some higher powers could be at play, but I don't know, I just feel like that's the truth. But I'm probably just weird._

_I don't know how he's going to react. I don't know what Dean's going to do. This is something no one hopes to find out, right? Especially because Dean is my boyfriend. My damn boyfriend. It's going to be strange, and I don't know what's going to happen but I also don't know what I want to have happening. Do I want him to leave me? No. But do I want to spend the rest of my life in a relationship with my brother? Yeah, that isn't really healthy either. I just don't know what I want, but I do know what to do. I have to talk to Dean, I really do. This is an important part of Dean's life too, so, I have to do this no matter how uncomfortable it will make me feel._

_-Sam_

__

Sam had been nervous all day long. Of course, he had every reason to be so. He had ignored his father who had stayed in town at the best hotel this little place could offer, which wasn't that great but his father didn't deserve anything good anyways. Sam still couldn't believe it, but he didn't see a reason why his father would lie about this. Yes, John was homophobic as Hell but if he wanted Sam and Dean to break up he would have thought of a different excuse, wouldn't he? This was just a strange thing to lie about, no one would make this up just so his child wouldn't be with someone of the same gender, right?

He had texted Dean, asking him if he could meet him. Not at the diner, he didn't feel like this was a conversation that should happen in a very public place. But Sam didn't want to be somewhere in either Dean's house or uncle Bobby's house, because that meant one of them would have to leave and the feeling of being in his brother/lover's house was just weird right now. So, Dean said they could just meet up at an old playground. There wouldn't be many people since the weather wasn't really nice and oh, yeah, the playground was kind of falling apart. Sam had agreed to it and he left to the playground, waiting nervously.

Nothing could have prepared him for Dean coming in, pulling him to his feet, and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips. Look, it was amazing, and even with his extra knowledge the kiss still left Sam with wobbly knees and a melting heart. God, he was really fucked up, wasn't he? He was in love with Dean and the fact that they were brothers didn't change anything about his feelings. In his mind everything was rationalized with him telling himself that: they hadn't known. And yes, that was true when they first started this but, now Sam did know. And he knew that he should turn away and not let Dean get anywhere near him with those lips but God, he couldn't help himself. He couldn't stop himself from kissing back, returning the favor. He was so in love with Dean and it was so unfair.

"I missed you," Dean breathed out in-between gentle kisses, making Sam hum. He ran a hand through Dean's hair, feeling at the soft spikes. No one knew they were related- no one except for John and Sam, and no one was going to even ever guess it, right? They didn't even look that much alike, no one was going to be able to tell it. "So, what did you want to talk about, Sammy? You're not going to break up with me, are you?"

Sam let out a rough chuckle. He knew he should, knew it was the sane thing to do. He should break up with Dean but he couldn't because he was still in love with Dean and he was so selfish. "We should sit down," He softly said, pulling Dean down onto the creaking, wooden bench. Dean held his hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb and the gesture was so gentle and Sam loved Dean. Sam fucking  _loved_ Dean. He had no idea how any of this could have ever happened but God really hated him, didn't he? "Dean, I have something to tell you. You're not going to like it, you might not even believe it but I think you should know-"

"Are you pregnant?" Dean chuckled a little, kissing Sam's cheek. He was probably just trying to lighten the mood, but Sam wished that was true. Somehow him being pregnant seemed easier to explain than them being brothers. "Sammy, don't worry. No matter what you're going to tell me, it can't be bad enough for me to ever leave you, okay? I promise. I'm here to stay."

"Yeah, you shouldn't say that yet, Dean. I... My father came here, he told me something that I didn't know. But I... I don't know what to do about it because I really like you, Dean," Sam said, trying to figure out the best way to say this. He didn't want to hurt Dean, he didn't want to freak him out. But was there even a right way of saying this? He didn't think so, no. "Dean, he told me you're my brother."

Dean froze, staring at Sam for a few moments before he nodded. Letting go of Sam's hand, he turned away, rubbing a hand over his face. "I knew something was up." He softly said, making Sam frown. Dean already knew? "I mean, I didn't think you'd be my brother but... I have to go, Sam. I have to go home, right now. I'll call you, okay? In a few hours, I'll call you. I just have to do something, take care of something." Sam watched as Dean got up, looking at him again. "I'll call you and we'll talk about this, but I have to do something first."

Sam just nodded dumbly, watching as Dean left. He had no idea what just happened, and he had no idea if it was a good thing. He hoped it was, he hoped this wasn't Dean running from him. Hopefully he was actually going to call Sam and not just... Get terrified. Yes, Sam would understand but he would also hate it. He just wanted to have his Dean in any and every way, forever. Brothers or not...

"How long have you known?" Dean's mother, Mary, looked up, looking confused. Dean was so angry that this made him even angrier, mostly because he  _knew_ that his mother had known. She had pushed Dean towards Sam, after all. And the only reason she had given Dean for it had been bullshit. But Dean was a good son, he did as his mother said, and became friends with Sam. And then he started to like Sam, a lot. And now they- "How long have you known Sam is my brother?"

"Ever since he was born." Mary softly said, folding the newspaper back up. She sighed, putting her hands down on the table and looking at Dean. She looked guilty, but Dean wasn't buying it. She had  _used_ him, which meant she had done a horrible thing and Dean wasn't going to forgive her for it. Who would use their own kid to get something they wanted? "So I guess you've found out?"

"Sam's father- my father, our father, he told Sam. And Sam told me. Why did you tell me to be his friend, mom?" Dean asked, walking closer, ready to slam the table. Dean had never been an aggressive person but God, this was just unfair. He felt so used, like a damn dirty wipe. And his own mother had made him feel like this which made the whole thing even worse than it already was. "What did you want from him?"

"I wanted to get to your father, Dean. I wanted you to be friends with him and get out all information about your father. I wanted him to tell you secrets which you then would tell me, and I would be able to hurt John like he hurt me." Mary snapped, suddenly looking angry. She had no right to be so, and Dean wanted to scream. Why was everything so fucked up all of a sudden? "He deserves to be hurt."

"What about Sam, huh? Sam doesn't deserve to be hurt. He's not like our father. He's amazing, sweet, and perfect. He would never hurt us." Dean defended Sam because, well, because Sam deserved that. Sam had never done anything bad, Sam probably couldn't even hurt a damn fly. He was amazing, and Dean loved him with everything inside of him.

"How would you know? You hardly know him."

"I know him better than you think I do. And you're just as bad as my father for using me like this," Dean grabbed his bag, shaking his head as he looked at his mother. "I'm leaving, don't wait up for me. And for the record, mom? I love Sam." Dean knew he hadn't implied in which way, but judging from how his mother's face turned pale, she got what he meant. Dean left the house, grabbing his phone and texting Sam that he would call tomorrow and that nothing was wrong, he just needed some time alone to process this. He then left for the woods, deciding that he needed to actually have some time on his own. He needed to think this through, and he needed to do so alone. And then he was going to have to talk to Sam about this all, and it was probably not going to be pretty...


	22. Day Twenty-Two

_Dear diary,_

_Maybe all people in the world are just bad. Dean texted me yesterday, explaining that his mother had apparently already known about him and me being related. She hadn't known about our other relationship (the whole being in love thing that we have going on) and probably would have told us that we were half siblings if she had known that Dean and I had been kissing, but she didn't. And Dean and I- or at least this counts for me, I can't exactly speak for Dean- we're now so in love that I don't think this is ever going to change anything between us. It isn't for me. Maybe it is for Dean, I don't really know what he thinks or wants. But we're going to talk today, so I guess I'll find out. I'm a little nervous for it, but I bet it's going to be fine._

_Best case scenario? Dean kisses me and asks me to marry him._

_Worst case scenario? Dean hates me._

_Hopefully that will never happen. But we don't know until I go there and have this talk with Dean. And I'm sure it's going to be fine. Besides, I'm still young. I have hope that, if Dean tells me he never wants to see me again, I will one day get over him and get someone else. That would be nice. But what would be even nicer is that Dean won't break up with me, ever. I really like him, you know? And I know it's insane that I still like him and the fact that we're half brothers doesn't matter me, but... Damn it, it just doesn't matter to me. I don't care. I don't think it's all that wrong. It just doesn't matter to me as much as it should. I think we could possibly just work through this and stop thinking about it and we could just forget all about it. Besides, it's not like anyone else knows. And we're not going to get kids anyways, so, there's no need to be scared of incest-related scary things with our babies. So that's a good thing. I am going to count that as a good thing._

_Besides, when we're older and completely done with college and everything, Dean and I can move out of this town and move away and just... You know, make our own home in a town where no one knows us. No one will bother us, no one will ever know that we're brothers, and everything is going to be wonderful. Or at least I am going to make it be wonderful._

_I can make Dean happy, I know I can. I know I can treat him right and make him feel loved. He just has to let me do so. I can only love him the way he deserves if he wants me to._

_Anyways, I think I should leave soon. I'll talk to Dean and well, we'll see what he wants. I just hope it won't go bad. I really, really, really like him._

_\- Sam._

__

"Dean, look, before you say anything. I'm really happy, okay? And I really like you. And I get that we're brothers but-"

"Shut up already." Dean breathed out before moving to kiss Sam's lips, holding onto Sam's cheeks. Okay, that was definitely not what Sam had thought that was going to happen, but he didn't mind it at all. He loved this. He loved it a lot. Dean's lips were so soft and so amazing, Dean was just an amazing kisser. "I don't care if we're brothers. Both our parents are terrible people for keeping this secret from us, but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm in love with you."

"I'm in love with you too," Sam whispered, staring into Dean's eyes. Dean kept his hands on Sam's cheeks, just holding him like that. This was so amazing, this made Sam so fucking happy. He still had Dean, he still had his love. His heart wasn't going to be broken, at least not today, and that was everything Sam had hoped for. Look, he wasn't that happy with everything that was going on, but it was better than not having Dean. He knew that it was wrong and insane, but he couldn't give Dean up. Not yet. He loved Dean. He actually loved Dean. "I'm sorry that this all happened..."

"It's fine, Sammy. You didn't know, neither of us knew. Only our parents knew." Dean said, letting out a sigh and pulling Sam in for a hug, kissing the tip of his head. It felt so nice to have Dean like this, Dean made him so happy. But God, was it wrong that this didn't feel wrong at all? "We can't be blamed for this, and... It might be wrong to say this, but I want to be with you, no matter what."

"I want to be with you too." Sam softly said, moving to kiss Dean's lips again. He couldn't get enough of him, ever. He liked Dean, loved him, needed to be around him at all times. And it seemed like that was going to happen, that dream was going to come true.

"Let's run away together, just you and me. I know it seems crazy, but we can do it, together. I- I just want to be with you, Sam, and I know that maybe we're too young or-"

"Okay." Sam softly said, smiling sweetly at his boyfriend, nodding his head. He wanted this, they both wanted this. This was just what needed to happen for them to be happy together forever without anyone bothering them. "Let's run away."


	23. Day Twenty-Three

Sam had everything ready. He had packed his things, gotten his bag, and decided that this was for the best. He could run away with Dean, they could be happy on their own. It didn't matter to them that they were brothers, but it was going to bother everyone else. Sam understood that because incest wasn't really something good. But in their defense they hadn't known it and they'd already been in love before they figured it out. And Sam couldn't just fall out of love just like  _that._ Especially not with someone as fucking hot as Dean. 

And it wasn't just Dean's outsides that Sam was in love with. He was precious. He was smart, amazing, gorgeous. He was funny as hell, he was nice, he was sweet, he was perfect. Sam loved Dean and Dean loved Sam, neither of them saw anything wrong with that simply because there wasn't anything wrong with it. There were people forced into relationships, was that really better than two people being in love who so happen to be related? Sam didn't think so. Besides, it was completely consensual. So that was a really good thing. 

After deciding that they were going to just run away together, Dean went home to get everything together. They also decided to wait until the next day because, no matter how mad Dean was at his mother, he couldn't just leave her. She was still his mother after all and he loved her. Yes, he was extremely mad at her and yes, she had betrayed him, but that didn't mean that she just deserved to be left like this without an explanation or Dean saying goodbye. She had taken care of Dean his entire life after all, and Dean felt bad about leaving her already. He loved his mother, and Sam completely understood that Dean had to say goodbye. He didn't feel the same way about his father, that man could suck his own ass, so all he did was pack. He promised Bobby that he'd call him and tell him where he was, uncle Bobby deserved to know how Sam was doing. Maybe Sam  _did_ know how Dean felt since, well, he had his uncle and Sam loved him incredibly much.

The two young males agreed that they'd meet at the bus-stop, it would be easier to meet there than for either of them to go to the other's house. Sam didn't want Dean's mother to get mad at him because he was pretty sure she would be. Any mother would be, right? After all, Sam was the reason that Dean was leaving. Or most of the reason. And Sam felt pretty bad about that. But he wasn't going to let that guilt fill him because this was also their happiness and both of them deserved to be happy, didn't they? So you know what? They were just going to be happy together in whatever town they were going to end up in, and that was that. And eventually Dean would talk to his mother again, right?

So, Sam waited at the bus-stop. And he waited. And waited. And even when the bus they were supposed to take left, Sam kept waiting, thinking that Dean was going to show up. He would, wouldn't he? They loved each other, so that meant that Dean would show up.

Except he didn't.

Sam went to Dean's house, needing to know what had happened, needing to know why Dean didn't show up. Was it because he changed his mind? Was something wrong? Did he not love Sam anymore? Sam's mind was filled with horrible thoughts about what could've possibly prevented Dean from coming to him and no matter how hard he tried to ignore them, he was almost crying when he finally arrived at Dean's house. He rang the doorbell, frowning when Dean's mother opened the door, her eyes red from crying. "What are you doing here?"

"I uhm, Dean didn't show up. Is he still here?" Sam asked and Dean's mother blinked, slowly shaking her head. "Well, where is he?"

"I- I assumed he went to get you. He took his car and I just... Well, I thought he went to get you." Sam shook his head at her explanation, telling her their plan. Sam hadn't known that Dean would take his car anywhere, and Dean didn't show up at Bobby's place or at the bus-stop. Hell, uncle Bobby thought that Dean's car was still completely broken. Apparently it hadn't been, and Dean had taken it to leave to God knows where. Sam swallowed, watching as Dean's mother went to call her son. Dean could be in trouble, he knew that was the most likely explanation but all Sam could think about was that Dean left him...

_Dean left._

_He said he would come to me at the bus-stop and we would run away together. But no. He left. Dean's mother eventually got him to answer the phone and by then Dean was already a few hours down the road._

_I have no idea why he did this to me, why he would do something like this. I'm sure something had to happen, right? It can't just be because of me. He loved me, he said he loved me. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think. Right now all I want to do is cry and curl up. I love him, I love him so much and I can't believe he did this to me. I don't know if I'm ever going to get him back._

_All I can do is hope and pray._

_I love him._

_\- Sam_


	24. Day Twenty-Four

_Dear diary,_

_Dean still isn't back. My heart doesn't feel like it can be fixed again. Everything hurts. Everything sucks. I hate it. I hate everything, especially myself. I must have done something to drive Dean away from me, it's all my fault. Somehow. I have no idea what I've done but it is probably my fault in some way. I'm known to be an idiot, so, point proven isn't it? Dean hates me and just ran off because of that. I fucked up, and it's over now, it's all done. I might never see him again. And I don't know how to process that._

_He needs to come back. He needs to see me again and maybe then it will all be okay. And who knows? Maybe that will happen. Or maybe it won't, I'm starting to think that maybe he won't come back. And if he doesn't come back then I don't really know what to do. I really do love him and I wouldn't be upset about him leaving if only he would tell me why he left. I need to know that. I really do. He is the person I love most in my life, and I don't know what to do now that he's gone. _

_I just want him back, you know?_

_\- Sam._

__

Dean hadn't meant to leave. He really hadn't. He wanted to go to Sam, wanted to stay with him forever. He loved Sam, didn't he? So why would he run away? Of course there was a reason for his actions, there is always a reason for someone's actions. For Dean it was that he had to- there was no other way. His mother, she had done horrible things too. He had thought that mister Wesson, Sam's father, was a bad person and that everything was his fault. Everything that happened to Dean's father, who wasn't even his real father, had been mister Wesson's fault. But in reality, it hadn't just been John who had made mistakes. It had been Mary too. Even though Mary was with her husband, she cheated on him with John and then  _pretended_ that it was her husband's baby she was pregnant with. And then one day John came and everything went to shit and the man Dean thought was his father killed himself.

So, Dean just didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like everyone had been lying to him, everyone had been keeping secrets and he didn't know who he could trust anymore. And, sure, Sam hadn't done anything wrong but still Dean felt like running from him. But then again, he felt like running from everyone. Mostly because he was just terrified. He didn't want to find out that Sam had lied to him too about something, he wanted to protect himself and he felt like this was the only way to do so.

He figured that maybe he should've at least told Sam what he was doing, what was going on. But he didn't, and that was stupid. But you had to excuse him: he was freaking out after all and he was trying to protect himself. He didn't want to get hurt again, just like everyone else would protect themselves. Everyone does what they think is best, right? And at that moment in time Dean had really thought running was the best idea. He was going to explain it to Sam, he just needed some time. Time to figure out what he was going to do and how he was going to do it. He just needed time.

Dean eventually stopped driving hours later when he noticed that he was starting to swerve with how tired he was. He parked the car at a motel and got himself a room, just for the night, and went inside, locking the door behind him. Dean walked over to the bed, laid down on it, and pulled out his phone. He knew he needed to send Sam at least a text, just to put Sam's mind at ease.

_[Sam. I'm sorry that I didn't show up at the bus-stop. I needed some time alone after finding out what my mother did to my father. Or well- the man I thought was my father. Turns out our father wasn't the only person who screwed up our lives. I'm sorry. I'll be back tomorrow, that's a promise. Meet you at the bus-stop at noon? Love you - De]_

Dean sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. Everything would be alright after this, Dean was sure of it. All he needed was a little time, that was all. And after that, everything would be just fine, right? They could live the rest of their lives together and be happy with each other, just the two of them. And maybe a dog. They would just be happy, and they would never have people who hurt them around again.


	25. Day Twenty-Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I know I put a tag in this with 'no happy ending' but fuck it, I want this to have a happy ending so I'm changing that.

Sam had always known that his father was a bad person- well, that was a lie. When he was younger, he didn't notice it. As a kid, I guess you always want your father to be your hero. So, to Sam it was a surprise to find out everything that his father had done wrong. Every other thing was a punch to his gut, and Sam just didn't want to listen to it. He didn't want to believe any of it at first, but eventually the facts were there, the truth was out there, and there was no way he could turn away from it anymore. He had to face the truth: his father was a dickhead.

When he finally heard the complete truth about how Sam and Dean were half-brothers, Sam was stunned at first. He didn't think that his father (or anyone in the world) could actually do something like this. Wasn't this something that happened in movies? Apparently it could also happen in real life, and Sam just felt stunned. Disgusted. His father had actually condoned someone cheating on her husband and then decided to years later tell the husband what happened, resulting in an actual death. Couldn't his father go to jail for this? After all, the death of Dean's pretend-father  _had_ been John's fault.

It just felt like everywhere Sam went he found a trail of things that his father had ruined. Bad things had always happened everywhere, and they always seemed to have something to do with John Wesson. No matter how hard Sam tried, he just couldn't escape him. It was just horrible. He wanted to be free, to be his own person but his last name haunted him. Sam was terrified that he would end up like his father because everyone saw him like that- everyone thought that he was just as horrible because he had the same last name as the person who had such a bad reputation. And Sam just wanted freedom, he wanted to be to run away from all of that because even when he tried to run he was still followed. Dean still got hurt. And it felt like it was all his fault. 

And everything hurt. 

Sam waited. The entire day he just waited until it was time to go to the bus-stop. It hurt to say goodbye to Bobby again, but he knew they'd see each other again. This wasn't what he'd wanted to do, because he loved his uncle, but it was for the best. He needed to say goodbye to everyone, to everything, because all he would ever do was hurt people. He always would, because there was just always his father in the background, ruining things for him. 

Dean wasn't going to understand, he knew that. After all, he was just going to leave while they had... Whatever they had between them. Some kind of love, and Sam was just going to shove it away like it was nothing. But how was he not going to do that? He couldn't hurt Dean, now could he? Not again. So his best option was to just leave. If he wasn't there then he couldn't hurt Dean. And that was the best for them.

When Dean showed up in his impala, the fixed version of it, Sam felt like he fell in love all over again. He looked vulnerable, like Dean had been crying all day long. And Sam suddenly couldn't leave anymore. They would figure out, wouldn't they? Dean knew Sam wasn't a bad person, he already knew, so, he understood. And he wasn't just going to leave when the first bad thing would happen. No, they would stick together and figure it out. Sam didn't blame Dean for leaving. He just got into the car without a word, and Dean drove off. They would be fine...

"Do you think anything in our lives will be normal one day?"

They were in a motel room. It was dark outside, Sam had no idea what time it was but he knew it was late with how he had gotten past tired and into that weird mood where you suddenly start to question everything in existence. Dean's hand reached blindly for his and they held each other, just two lost boys in a motel room in the middle of nowhere, scared and excited about their future at the same time. 

"No," Dean honestly answered, shaking his head. He looked at Sam, moving one hand to cup Sam's cheek, smiling softly. Dean was always so gentle, so perfect, and he always seemed to know just what to say and what to do to get Sam right back to happiness. Because Dean was Sam's happiness. "But I don't think I want normal. I want you. And if that means that I have to go with the weird incestual things that we've got going on, then I'll happily go with those. I love you, Sam. You are my normal, and I hope that I'll be yours."

Sam smiled, filled with happiness and gratitude. He was just so lucky, wasn't he? He had Dean, and that should be enough. That  _was_ enough. It was always going to be enough. Dan was right; maybe they had everything in the world going against them, maybe they had lost most of their families, but they were still together. They still had each other. They still had love. And not everyone had that. They were lucky, and they were happy. And fuck it, they were going to figure out how to be happy together forever. And someway it was going to work, no matter what...

 


	26. Day Twenty-Six

_Dear diary,_

_When I was younger, my father always told me that appearances were everything. What you look like is the first thing that anyone is going to see, therefor you need to make a good impression. First impressions are everything. They can make you or break you. They can either get you wherever you want, or you can fail because you made a bad impression. All my life I've been raised to be good, to be a heartless business man like my father is, but somehow that didn't work out. I didn't become like him and I hope I'll never be like him. Not even when I get older. I know I might change because I'm still young, there's a lot that's going to happen in my life that's going to change me and my views of this world, but I sure hope that I will always be full of love. Or at least open to the idea of love, like I am now._

_I like to think it's because I'm just special, or maybe my dad is special in a very bad way and he's actually the only one around who can be bad like he is. I don't know what it is, but whatever it is; I'm grateful for being normal. At least now I can say for sure that I love someone, Dean, and that I will love him for as long as he's around. And longer than that, probably. I mean, I'll obviously let Dean go if he wants to go, but I don't think I can ever stop loving him. He's just too perfect for that._

_I also like to think that Dean and I were meant to find each other. Maybe we weren't meant to fall in love but I don't think it's a bad thing. Yes, we are half brothers and it's incest and yes, that is definitely illegal. But there are so many people around the world who are forced to be in relationships that they don't want to be in, and I think that's worse than what Dean and I have. At least we love each other._

_And now we're together on the road. Dean said we are going to find a town to live in, even if it will take us weeks. I recommended a little town that I stayed in for a while when I went on a trip with uncle Bobby. It's not far from the town Dean's mom and my uncle live in, so we can visit them any time we want to which is great. I do expect Dean to forgive his mother one day, and I really hope he's going to do so. She deserves it no matter what she did to Dean's father. His fake father. All people make mistakes, right? And while most of them don't cost anyone's life, she still deserves a second chance. Especially with her son. It might take a while, but if she has hope then she can wait until Dean wants to talk to her again._

_Dean and I are going to find some town to live in. Together. Just the two of us. And the other townsfolk, of course. But whatever. I'm just so excited about this. I can't believe it's actually happening but it is. And I know I still have college and all, but I can take online classes so that's great for me. Dean wants a job as a mechanic, which is totally the hottest thing ever. It's what he's always wanted and I'm sure that he'd going to be amazing at it._

_I didn't think this was ever going to work out, you know? But it's working out, and I'm really happy. Dean's happy too, so everything is perfect. And we're just going to be so happy forever._

_And who knows? Maybe one day me and my dad will make it up to each other. Sometimes miracles happen, right?_

_\- Sam_

Dean smiled softly, glancing at Sam who was asleep in the passenger's seat. It was Sam's idea to go to a quaint little town, one that he'd apparently stayed in for a little while when he was younger. He had really enjoyed it there because it was so quiet and adorable and, well, Dean easily agreed. It seemed like a really nice place when Sam talked about it, and Sam assured him that there was a garage he could probably find work at. And hey, that sounded wonderful to Dean. Honestly, all he'd ever wanted was to have a family and to be happy and now he was thinking that maybe he could have that family with Sam. Maybe they'd adopt a dog, maybe even kids in the future. Dean had always liked kids.

Yes, he was still slightly worried about people finding out they were half-brothers, but at the same time he knew that wasn't going to happen. They didn't look alike at all and no one was going to know them at all, so that was a good thing. besides, Sam told him not to worry, and thus Dean was going to try his hardest not to worry. Everything was going to be okay. Dean was convinced that, because so much had gone to shit in his life, he would for once have happiness now. He deserved it, didn't he? And Sam did too.

Yeah, you know what? Dean was convinced that, as long as Sam was with him, he was going to be filled with happiness...


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

"So, what do you think?"

"I like it, it's roomy. Nice windows. I feel good here, actually." Dean spun around the living room, looking at everything. They'd gone to look at some apartments that day, just to figure out where they could live. Turned out that in such a tiny little town everyone was really happy there were new people interested in coming to live there. When they went out to start looking for a place to stay for a long time (they hadn't decided how long they wanted to stay there), a woman had immediately gone all nice on them and invited them to come look at places they could move in that day even. The town had started to go empty because most young people didn't want to live there as there weren't many options for their future. Sam and Dean wanted desperately to live there, though. It was such a sweet little town, and surprisingly acceptable. The lady told them that they accepted home owners of all kinds, race, sexuality, age, nothing mattered. Everyone in town had been nice to them, greeting them as they walked past, and Sam and Dean couldn't really stop smiling.

The few apartments they'd looked at were really nice, but this one really took the cake. It was pretty big, a three bedroom apartment with a nice bathroom and a separate toilet. The master bedroom had huge windows looking out over a lake while the living room windows looked out over the town square. It was light, already furnished, and the kitchen was just amazing. They felt at home there, and for a nineteen and a twenty-three year old this was an amazing place to live. Besides, it was close to where Bobby and Dean's mom lived, so that was great too. And they had the supermarket and other stores right within walking distance.

"Yeah? Me too, it's nice. I think it's cause of the lightning in here." Sam nodded, looking around, touching the curtains gently and turning back to Dean, smiling at him. He looked happy, just as he should be. Sam deserved to be happy, now didn't he? And knowing he was happy because of Dean, well, that made everything so much better. Dean felt awesome whenever he got those dimples to show. "I think it's the best option we've seen until now, don't you?"

Dean grinned, walking up to Sam and kissing his lips softly before looking out of the window, nodding his head. "Yeah, yeah I really like this place. I think it's the best one, definitely. I mean, the master bedroom?" Dean pursed his lips, whistling before grinning wide, wrapping an arm around Sam's waist. "We could sleep so good in there, the bed looks so incredibly soft."

"Hell yeah it does," Sam grinned right back at Dean, cute dimples showing and all. He moved to kiss his boyfriend again before looking around once more, nodding his head. "Yeah, this is it. This is where I want to live with you from now on until... Well, until whenever we want to." Dean hummed in agreement, knowing for sure that they weren't going to move out of this house for at least a while. Dean was going to probably work at the local garage, the sales lady that showed them around the house told them that said garage was looking for someone. So, they didn't need to go anywhere any time soon.

"Let's take it then. Let's buy this place and live here. Together." Dean couldn't stop grinning as Sam nodded, moving to kiss Dean over and over again. Yeah, this was perfect, just absolutely perfect. They were going to live together in a really great apartment, and they were both going to be happier than they ever were. For a love story that hit such a big bump as theirs did, it sure turned out to have a really happy ending...

_Dear diary,_

_Dean and I bought an apartment together. An actual APARTMENT. A place where we are going to live together! I'm so excited about this!!! It's got an amazing kitchen and Dean is making pasta right now and it smells really good- he is a pretty damn amazing cook, surprisingly. But I'm glad, because I kind of suck at anything making-food-related. Not to mention that Dean looks really good in an apron, too. ;)  But no one is going to know that because Dean is all mine._

_Buying an apartment is a big step. I know I'm young, maybe I'm naive, but that doesn't matter to me. People can think what they want to think, but I think this is going to last. We want to be together even though we're half-brothers, so that says something, right? I think that means we're just going to last forever and ever. At least I hope so, because I would very much enjoy it._

_The place was already furnished, by the way, and pfew is the bed soft. First thing Dean and I did was lay there. We even got into a tickle fight._

_I'm going to take online classes, probably work at the supermarket for now. Dean is going to take up a job at the garage in town, which he is very extremely excited for. And I'm happy that he's happy. Being a mechanic is his dream job, so I'm glad that he gets to do what he likes doing. I love him, you know? I love him a lot._

_We're going to be happy here, just the two of us. And who knows? Maybe in the future we'll adopt a dog. Or a cat. Whatever Dean is okay with, I don't really care. I just want to be happy with Dean, and I know that's going to happen. It's already happening. I love him, always will. My sweet Dean._

_\- Sam_

_P.S.: Apparently Dean is allergic to cats, I just asked. So a dog it is :)_

 


End file.
